# Jokes



## pjk (Apr 29, 2006)

What good jokes do you have to share?


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## dougreed (Apr 29, 2006)

Go to Google

Type in "French military victories" and press "I'm Feeling Lucky"


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## Ravi (May 6, 2006)

I made these up, so they might not qualify for the "good" criterion...

A man was hiking in the woods when he suddenly saw a gigantic tree with a 50-foot long leaf hanging from a three-inch stem. Needless to say, the leaf was too big for the stem. In fact, it fell from the tree almost the instant he saw it. He wanted to keep the leaf, but he decided it would be best to give it to a museum. He cut off the stem and kept it to remember the leaf with. The next day, the local newspaper printed a story about the leaf. He was quoted as saying, "That's one small stem for a man, one giant leaf for mankind."

M.C. Hammer has a terrible fear of fleas, presumably because he thinks they will "touch this." In other words, flea = MC scared.


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## dougreed (May 10, 2006)

:blink: 

What sound does a...

Now that I think about it, that joke probably isn't for these forums.

-Doug


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## pjk (Jul 13, 2007)

Anyone have any jokes to share? This would be a nice jokes thread.


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## hait2 (Jul 14, 2007)

The only jokes I know are really well-known already (which is why I know them )
but I'll post (one of) them anyway

~
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!" "


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## apoplectic (Jul 15, 2007)

what do you call a vampire from harlem? Crackula

yo mama so nasty that when she was having phone sex she gave yo papy a ear infection!

whats red white and goes fifty miles an hour? a baby in a blender!

thats all i got right now


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## mahajarama (Aug 11, 2007)

Some Jokes for everyone (hope their not too nerdy)

1. Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?
A: KNiFe

2. Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

3. The answer to the problem was "log(1+x)". A student copied the answer from the good student next to him, but didn't want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to "timber(1+x)".

4. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him, and says "For you, no charge." 

5. Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.


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## KoolCube (Sep 9, 2007)

These aren't really jokes, they're sorta riddles.....

RIDDLES
you're locked in a concrete room with no wondows and no doors, all you have is a mirror and a table....how do you escape  ?

you're locked in a concrete room with no windows and no doors, all you have is a calender and a bed....how do you eat and drink?

ANSWERS
you look into the mirror and you see what you saw, you take the saw and cut the table in half, two halves make a whole, you climb through the "whole" (hole)....and you're FREE 

you eat by getting dates from the calender, and you drink by getting springs from the bed


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## pjk (Sep 10, 2007)

Good ones guys.


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## genwin (Apr 28, 2008)

why is this dead??

Q: Why did the man freeze his money?

A: He wanted cold, hard cash!

(lame) yeah i know...


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## AvGalen (Apr 28, 2008)

NOOOOOO, I just know I am going to get hooked on this thread.

Well, it is pretty hard to translate jokes, but I guess this is an interesting (not funny) riddle to start with (my father told me this > 25 years ago). 1 hint, it will test your memory (you are not allowed to read it back, just read every line carefully):

Imagine you are a busdriver:
At the start of your shift there are 3 women and 2 kids in the bus.
At the first stop you pick up 3 men and 1 woman and 1 woman leaves with her kid.
At the second stop the same happens (3 men and 1 woman in, 1 woman and 1 kid out)
At the third stop a school class enters the bus: 15 kids in, 8 boys and 7 girls. Also, a mother gets in with a girl wearing a red jacket. Nobody gets out
At the fourth stop the same happens as on the first stop
At the fifth stop all the men get out, but the same amount of women and children enter.
Question1 (somewhat hard): How many kids are now in the bus? (tough question)
Question2 (easy): What color socks does the busdriver wear?


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## brunson (Apr 28, 2008)

Two friends are hiking in the wilderness when one of them clutches his chest and falls to the ground. The other friend whips out his cell phone and dials 911. He tells the operator, "My friend is dead, what should I do?" The operator tries to reassure the man saying, "Let's remain calm, first we need to make sure your friend is actually dead." For a few seconds the operator hears only silence, then a gunshot, then the hiker comes back on the line and says, "Okay, now what?"


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## shelley (Apr 28, 2008)

Arnaud:

Is the bus driver wearing (highlight for possible spoiler)the same color socks I am wearing, because the first line instructs me to imagine that I am the bus driver?


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## AvGalen (Apr 28, 2008)

brunson: "nice" one 
shelley: correct! (did you get both correct, or did you have to reread?)

(and I promise one/some nice joke(s) every day. I just can't help posting in topics like this.


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## shelley (Apr 28, 2008)

The first question wasn't too bad, but I think it would be harder if someone were reading the problem to me. When I read it for myself I can go at my own pace, and seeing the numbers helps me a lot.

===

Heisenberg and Schroedinger were riding together in a car when they run over a cat.

Schroedinger asks, "Is it dead?"

Heisenberg replies, "I can't be certain."

Later a cop sees their reckless driving and pulls them over. He asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew exactly where I was."

===

Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns. I'll drive."


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## ThePizzaGuy92 (Apr 28, 2008)

Um... What did the new square say to the old circle? You need to get in shape.

[Popsicle stick joke ]


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## brunson (Apr 28, 2008)

Nice, Shelley, Physics humor always rules. You reminded me of this one:

Two ions are walking down the street, suddenly one says, "Oh, no. I just lost an electron." His friend asks, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive."


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## TomZ (Apr 28, 2008)

You have two fuses, each having a burn time of exactly one hour. You need to have one piece of fuse which will burn for half an hour. You have to obtain this piece of fuse, using nothing but the two fuses (and a lighter). Cutting the fuse in half doesn't work, as they have slight imperfections.

How do you acomplish this?


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## Hadley4000 (Apr 28, 2008)

Light it at both ends.


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## linkmaster03 (Apr 28, 2008)

Burn it and stop it when your 3 Stackmats hit 10:00 each, starting consecutively.


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## genwin (Apr 29, 2008)

*Vaseline Research*

A woman answers the door to a market researcher.
Good morning madam, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?"
"Oh yes, all the time. It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns."
"Do you suse it for anything else?"
"Like what?"
"Ahem...err...well...during...ahem...sex."
"Oh yes, of course. Yes, we smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep the kids out."


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## abbracadiabra (Apr 29, 2008)

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over. 

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.


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## Dene (Apr 29, 2008)

LMAO, but this is for real, isn't it? Please tell us the conclusion to this story (lecturer getting fired??)


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## abbracadiabra (Apr 29, 2008)

I don't think it's for real - I think it's a joke. My son emailed it to me, and I thought it was funny enough to share. Glad you liked it.


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## AvGalen (Apr 29, 2008)

I never imagined that one being real. I have heard it several times on seperate occasions and in several languages.

Another riddle, Agatha Christie style this time:

In Dutch:
De politie wordt gebeld in verband met een moordzaak. Ze komen aan op de plaats delict en zien een man liggen in een telefooncel. De telefoon ligt van de haak, er ligt een telefoonboek open op de grond, de man heeft een vishaak in zijn lijf en een hengel naast hem. Ook de rest van zijn outfit lijkt op die van een visser, maar behalve de hengel heeft hij geen visspullen bij zich. Wat klopt er niet in dit verhaal?
Antwoord: het hart van de dode man

Translated to English:
The police force is rung concerning a homicide. They arrive on the crime scene and see a man lying dead in a telephone cell. The telephone lies of the hook, a bloody phone book is left on the ground, the man has a fishhook in his torso and a fishing rod standing beside him. Also the rest of his outfit seems like that of a fisher, but except for the fishing rod he has no other fishing gear with him. What isn't right in this picture?
Answer: The phone book that was left


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## Erik (Apr 29, 2008)

lol that's quite lame Arnaud but it's not as catchy in English...
ok some lame teenage stupid ones:
- What do you get when you feed gunpowder to a cow?
Bamboooooo
- Why does the queen have an orange phone?
To call with
- It's green and it races down the hill?
A skiwi
- Why does a Lada have 4 pedals?
One for the clutch, one to break, one for gas and one to pump up the airbags again.
- Guy says: I'd like a mirror for my lada, mechanic: that seems like a fair trade
- It's white and when it falls out of a tree your fridge is suddenly broken?
Your fridge
- Can't see anything but still 21 eyes?
A dice
- How does a fool catch a rabbit?
He sits behind a bush and makes the sound of a CARROT
- It hops thourgh the forest with a machine gun?
Rambi
- Why do nun's never wear bra's?
God supports everything
- It's green and sticks to the wall?
Kermit the sticker
Some thinkthroughs:
- If corn oil comes from corn and olive oil from olives, what about baby oil?
- What are the plastic bits on the end of your shoelaces called?
- Do they have a coffebreak in a teafactory?
- Why is there a lock on a 24/7 gasstation?
- Why do planes only have lifejackets and no parachutes?

Ok too lame to do more now


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## genwin (Apr 29, 2008)

the fridge got me laughing..


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## shelley (Apr 29, 2008)

Erik said:


> - What are the plastic bits on the end of your shoelaces called?



Aglets (look it up!)


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## dChan (Apr 30, 2008)

This is something I've been doing forever to my family. Let's try something cool:

Okay, do you want to time travel? Yes? Good. Place your hand on your computer screen(or at least right in front of it) and I will do the same. Now count slowly to 5:

1
2
3
4
5
AND THERE!



You are now 5 seconds into the future.

I know, I'm lame.


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## Dene (Apr 30, 2008)

Erik said:


> - Why do *plains* only have lifejackets and no parachutes?



Not this again!

Mr van Galen, I don't get it? Help me out!

Ok I guess I should give one too..................

Ok I bet you've all heard this one:

A man walked into a bar... "Ouch!"


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## Harry (Apr 30, 2008)

brunson said:


> Nice, Shelley, Physics humor always rules. You reminded me of this one:
> 
> Two ions are walking down the street, suddenly one says, "Oh, no. I just lost an electron." His friend asks, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive."



Hehehe, so sorry, it is chemically impossible, if that is negative ion then, it will be neutral not positive. It is different story if it is a positive ion.


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## Erik (Apr 30, 2008)

shelley said:


> Erik said:
> 
> 
> > - What are the plastic bits on the end of your shoelaces called?
> ...



Really? Wow, hehe well apperently there are some problems on translating jokes xD


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## genwin (Apr 30, 2008)

*Naughty Engineers*

Rush hour in a bus. Four girls had to sit on four boys lap.

Girl1: Are you a Computer Engr?
Engr1: Yes, why?
Girl1: Your hardware is accessing my software.

Girl2: Are you a Mechanical Engr?
Engr2: Yes, why?
Girl2: Your piston is trying to slide into my cylinder.

Girl3: Are you a Civil Engr?
Engr3: Yes, why?
Girl3: Your tower is so high it reached my heaven.

Girl4: Are you an Electronics Engr?
Engr4: Yes, why?
Girl4: Your electron is entering my hole.


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## genwin (Apr 30, 2008)

*Einstein's Riddle*

The story behind Einstein's riddle is that
Albert Einstein claimed that 98% of
the world population couldn't solve it. I am not sure of the true
origin, but I have seen this one floating around the internet, and it
is a good logic exercise. Here it is:

- In a street there are five houses, painted five different colors.

- In each house lives a person of different nationality

- These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.

Einstein's riddle is: Who owns the fish?

Necessary clues:

1. The British man lives in a red house.
2. The Swedish man keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Danish man drinks tea.
4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the center house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The Blends smoker lives next to the one who drinks water.


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## Mike Hughey (Apr 30, 2008)

genwin said:


> *Einstein's Riddle*
> 
> The story behind Einstein's riddle is that
> Albert Einstein claimed that 98% of
> the world population couldn't solve it.



This is basically the same as a Sudoku. How hard can it be? I bet that now more than 2% of the world population could solve this (thanks to the popularity of Sudoku).

Edit: Ah, I was wrong - I'm not one of the two percent.

The answer from Einstein was apparently this:
More then 2% get that answer, but Einstein said the true answer is is impossible to get with the given information. While it is true that the German pet is unknown after deducing everything else you are never told that the fifth pet is indeed a fish, you assume it is because you are told that is what your looking for. Only 2% understood that looking for the fish doesn't make the unknown pet a fish.


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## genwin (Apr 30, 2008)

Mike Hughey said:


> genwin said:
> 
> 
> > *Einstein's Riddle*
> ...



now i get it... do you know any member of the 2% club??


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## dChan (Apr 30, 2008)

genwin said:


> Mike Hughey said:
> 
> 
> > genwin said:
> ...



Do not highlight my post if you don't want the answer.

As soon as I saw that whole list of clues and read that Einstein said  98% of the world could not get it I automatically said, "It is impossible to solve." Maybe you should not have told us what Einstein said?

Does this make me a member of the 2% club? Or just lucky? Like a PLL-skip or something.


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## Mike Hughey (Apr 30, 2008)

dChan said:


> Does this make me a member of the 2% club? Or just lucky? Like a PLL-skip or something.


Actually, upon further poking around the Internet, it looks like this is all just hearsay anyway, and it's very hard to tell which answer was really intended. And I've not seen any real hard evidence that Einstein had anything to do with it anyway.

But if you are a member of the 2% club, being lucky doesn't affect it, much as getting a PLL skip on a 3x3x3 single solve in competition doesn't prevent you from getting a genuine great official single solve time.

Further reading for those who are interested:http://brainden.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=101
(This looks like a site that might interest many people here anyway. )


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## shelley (Apr 30, 2008)

I remember that riddle.. it's attributed to Einstein, but one of the cigar brands mentioned in the riddle wasn't even around in Einstein's time. And as for the unknown pet/fish thing, that kind of makes it a trick question. People don't look for trick questions in these kinds of process of elimination logic games. The fact that the puzzle is in this format implies that all the information you need is given in the problem and that there is a solution.

On a slightly unrelated tangent, the talk of looking for the fish reminded me of this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWlUu54muOs

EDIT: Hah, I just realized that I variously called it a riddle, logic game, puzzle and problem. Consistency is for losers.


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## dChan (Apr 30, 2008)

My answer came to mind because of what genwin said that Einstein said about the riddle. I believe that if the riddle were given in a stand-alone format with no trivia about it I would have been confused just like everyone else but by using logic with the statement that Einstein gave and the way the clues were given I immediately came up with that answer. 

So does this mean there is another answer to the riddle?


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## Mike Hughey (Apr 30, 2008)

dChan said:


> My answer came to mind because of what genwin said that Einstein said about the riddle. I believe that if the riddle were given in a stand-alone format with no trivia about it I would have been confused just like everyone else but by using logic with the statement that Einstein gave and the way the clues were given I immediately came up with that answer.
> 
> So does this mean there is another answer to the riddle?



If you make a rather obvious assumption, a correct answer can be deduced straightforwardly from the information given; as I initially said, it's very much like a Sudoku. Given the obvious assumption (which most people probably make - I certainly did), there is just enough information to figure everything out.


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## Crzyazn (Apr 30, 2008)

I've solved it ^^

Pretty much arrange all the information into a giant table, and within each grid in that table, put another table in. Logic tables are very powerful, but tedious to construct. If you properly dissect all the information given, you can use process of elimination to narrow down all the possibilities,


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## shelley (Apr 30, 2008)

I still think the "trick" answer that only 2% are supposed to get is unfair. The fish isn't mentioned in the clues, but it's mentioned in the problem statement. Given the format of the puzzle, if you're not allowed to make the assumption that the fish is in the puzzle, what lets you make any other assumption?

If I'm not supposed to assume the unnamed pet is the fish, why do I get to assume that the clues refer to the same people in the same houses in the exposition, and that they're not referring to a completely different set of houses entirely? That's the way these kinds of puzzles work! You should be allowed to make certain assumptions.

I think if the objective was stated as "Can you determine who owns the fish?" rather than "Who owns the fish?" it would be more fair. Still a bit of a trick question, but one that is well played rather than one that is just cheating.


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## Harry (May 8, 2008)

How come you know that the german's pet is unknown? How can you deduce it?

I am stuck with this:
Yellow house-->Norwegian-->Dunhill--->Water
Blue-->Horses-->Danish-->Tea-->Blends
Green-->Coffee
Red-->British-->Beer-->Blue Master

The position of the house is as following
Yellow Blue White Green Red

Is that correct?


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## AvGalen (May 9, 2008)

The "Einstein" one reminded me of something called logiquiz or logigram I did a lot when I was a kid (example: http://logiquiz.langers.nl/nld/view.php?puzzleid=4)

But now that I have some time again, I hope to post at least 1 joke every day:

Three engineers are arguing about what kind of engineer God must be. 
The electrical engineer says “God has to be an electrical engineer – just look at the human body’s nervous system.” 
The mechanical engineer says “Nah, God is a mechanical engineer. Only a great mechanical engineer could design the body’s joints and muscles.” 
The civil engineer smiles and says “You guys are both wrong. I know God is a civil engineer – who else would put a waste disposal line right through a great recreation area?” 

Bonus joke: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Well, since the egg was just lying there looking a bit sad and the chicken was looking happy while smoking a cigarette........

My personal solution to the chicken and the egg-problem:
The rooster came first, created the chicken from a rib and eggs came later


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## Cubie Newbie (May 9, 2008)

The statement Who owns the cat implies that there is a cat and that it is owned by one of the aforementioned characters.


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## hait2 (May 10, 2008)

AvGalen said:


> Bonus joke: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
> Well, since the egg was just lying there looking a bit sad and the chicken was looking happy while smoking a cigarette........














Cubie Newbie said:


> The statement Who owns the cat implies that there is a cat and that it is owned by one of the aforementioned characters.



Not necessarily, that's simply an assumption you make. Whether that's a fair assumption or not is entirely up to you to decide.


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## xchiltonx (Oct 15, 2008)

*Rubik Jokes*

I never thought that I'd see a joke, maybe you've seen it before, but it's still classed as a joke.
Solve in 6 seconds:





source:
http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/Solving-Rubiks-Cube.html


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## badmephisto (Oct 16, 2008)

yea i never understood that one... You didn't solve it, you broke it.
I dont get it


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## shelley (Oct 16, 2008)

Yeah, I'm going to have to give you a DNF.


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## ThePizzaGuy92 (Oct 16, 2008)

hahaha, i thought it was funny


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## xchiltonx (Oct 16, 2008)

shelley said:


> Yeah, I'm going to have to give you a DNF.


DNF :confused:


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## CharlieCooper (Oct 16, 2008)

xchiltonx said:


> shelley said:
> 
> 
> > Yeah, I'm going to have to give you a DNF.
> ...



did not finish. what "time" you get in an official solve if you don't finish the solve, whether it was intentional or not. being the sort of person that likes magic, this might happen to you a lot


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## xchiltonx (Oct 16, 2008)

The lamest Rubiks Cube jokes EVER! (Part 1)





The lamest Rubiks Cube jokes EVER! (Part 2)





The lamest Rubiks Cube jokes EVER! (Part 3)


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## xchiltonx (Oct 16, 2008)

and here's a not so geeky one, since it's taking the p*ss out of us cubers:


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## nitrocan (Oct 16, 2008)

xchiltonx said:


> and here's a not so geeky one, since it's taking the p*ss out of us cubers:



That guy probably has nothing else to do except find stuff to make fun of while, not knowingly, he makes fun of himself.


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## fanwuq (Oct 17, 2008)

Yeah! You found Derrick's cube jokes! They are my favorite videos!


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## brunson (Oct 17, 2008)

xchiltonx said:


> The lamest Rubiks Cube jokes EVER! (Part 1)



I don't know which is cheesier, his jokes or his mustache.



xchiltonx said:


> and here's a not so geeky one, since it's taking the p*ss out of us cubers:



That wasn't funny at all until his very last comment, then it was very funny.


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## Tox|k (Oct 20, 2008)

http://xkcd.com/457/


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## xchiltonx (Oct 21, 2008)

I searched your funny pics for rubik and came up with this one


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## Derrick Eide17 (Oct 21, 2008)

brunson said:


> xchiltonx said:
> 
> 
> > The lamest Rubiks Cube jokes EVER! (Part 1)
> ...



neither. Your Mom is


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## Athefre (Oct 21, 2008)

Notation sentences: U/D/R/L/F/B/E/M/S

1. BUB'S RULE 

2. U R MUD

Me: FU!
You: FU2!

Can anyone think of more?


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## Derrick Eide17 (Oct 21, 2008)

1. FUEL ME 

2. BED ELFS? 

3. MUD BED 

4. SLUM FUED

5. SURE MULE 

6. RUDE FUR


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## Lucas Garron (Oct 22, 2008)

BUMBLEBEES!

http://archive.garron.us/data/rubikswords.txt


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## hawkmp4 (Oct 22, 2008)

Beelzebub...embezzle...reefer...rude...murder...
What does this say about cubers? xD
Subliminal messaging in our move notation...


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## Jude (Jan 8, 2009)

*May I say "Lame cubing joke"?*

I know it's bad, but it made me laugh when I made it 





Spoiler below (highlight to see)

One is "Al Gore rhythm", the other's an algorithm!


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## happa95 (Jan 8, 2009)

LOL! nice one!


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## fanwuq (Jan 8, 2009)

Jude said:


> I know it's bad, but it made me laugh when I made it
> 
> 
> 
> ...



haha. I found that one about a year ago.
My friend was going to make a song about it.


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## Sa967St (Jan 8, 2009)

its not lame, its clever...or maybe both?



Escher said:


> nice pochmann Y perm


pochmann Y perm= T perm?


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## Escher (Jan 8, 2009)

no, im just an idiot.
edit - i dont have a cube around and i dont know any of my algs as notation, and i recently learnt a pochmann Y perm that looks a lot like that.
but still, idiot.

2nd edit

R (U R') U' (R' F) (R2 U') R' U' R (U R') F'

literally copied straight from cubezone.be.
for the t-perm.


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## jcuber (Jan 8, 2009)

Sa967St said:


> its not lame, its clever...or maybe both?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It is a Y-perm.


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## qqwref (Jan 8, 2009)

jcuber said:


> Sa967St said:
> 
> 
> > its not lame, its clever...or maybe both?
> ...



Sure you are not thinking of F R U R' U' F'?


----------



## Sa967St (Jan 8, 2009)

jcuber said:


> Sa967St said:
> 
> 
> > its not lame, its clever...or maybe both?
> ...



R U R' U' R' F R2 U' R' U' R U R' F' is definately a T perm


----------



## JTW2007 (Jan 9, 2009)

Yep, that's a T perm. Nice one by the way.


----------



## mande (Jan 9, 2009)

Nice one!...


----------



## IamWEB (Jan 9, 2009)

Well I lol'd, especially because the drums remind me of the sound played when a joke IS lame, haha.


----------



## EmersonHerrmann (Jan 9, 2009)

Heheheheh...that was good


----------



## ThePizzaGuy92 (Jan 9, 2009)

hahaha! i thought it was funny.


----------



## blah (Jan 9, 2009)

I don't really know what "young cubers" means nowadays, but just to share a thought, is it possible that there are cubers so young they don't recognize Al Gore's face? Or (worse?), don't even know who he is?


----------



## Faz (Jan 9, 2009)

Well, I saw " An Inconvenient Truth" But I didn't recognise his face in that picture.

Shows how young I am.........


----------



## xSwiftxClawx (Jan 9, 2009)

fazrulz said:


> Well, I saw " An Inconvenient Truth" But I didn't recognise his face in that picture.
> 
> Shows how young I am.........



Same here.


----------



## blah (Jan 9, 2009)

Probably has something to do with the fact that you're not American?


----------



## Lord Voldemort (Jan 9, 2009)

It's not lame (to us cubers, at least). It made me chuckle a bit...


----------



## daniel0731ex (Jan 10, 2009)

i have no idea of who he is



does it got anything to do with the fact that im still an ESL/ELD student?


----------



## EmersonHerrmann (Apr 23, 2009)

*Jokes *

Well, uh...don't consider this spam, but I wanted to post a place where people can put jokes about things, cubes included.

I like this one a lot 


Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his 
father didn't punish him ?" 
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."


----------



## Sa967St (Apr 24, 2009)

A lawyer, a giraffe, a priest, a toad and a blonde walked into a bar. The bartender said "What is this, some sort of joke?"


----------



## Dene (Apr 24, 2009)

"Do you suppose that when George Washington was asked for ID he would just whip out a quarter?"

A quote from memory off hi-games (the wording may not be perfect). That's my favourite line so far.


----------



## Nukoca (Apr 24, 2009)

A blonde walks into a bar. What did she say?

A: Ouch!


----------



## AvGalen (Apr 24, 2009)

Q: When is a door not a door?

A:


Spoiler



When it is a jar



For more jokes, search for the pickupline thread!


----------



## mcciff2112 (Apr 24, 2009)

Nukoca said:


> A blonde walks into a bar. What did she say?
> 
> A: Ouch!



Ouch.

EDIT: *facepalm* I didn't realize the answer was in another color, I though you just left it black. hahaha


----------



## Unknown.soul (Apr 24, 2009)

Two peanuts walk into a dark alley, and one was a salted.


----------



## EmersonHerrmann (Apr 24, 2009)

Lolz I had to read that a few times to get it xD


----------



## Sa967St (Apr 24, 2009)

Ecuador.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-D4NkTnaoo


----------



## Kian (Apr 24, 2009)

.........."The Aristocrats".

or

Two muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "Gosh, it's hot in here." The other responds "Holy crap, a talking muffin!"


----------



## toast (Apr 24, 2009)

Rene Descartes walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?".
Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished.


----------



## Tyson (Apr 24, 2009)

Q: What's the difference between a duck?

A: Its one leg is other the same.


----------



## mcciff2112 (Apr 24, 2009)

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?

A: It gets wet.


----------



## Ellis (Apr 24, 2009)

toast said:


> Rene Descartes walks into a bar.
> The bartender says, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?".
> Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished.



That made me smile.


----------



## teller (Apr 24, 2009)

Ok...this is one of my favorites:

A skeleton walks into a bar...the bartender says, "What'll it be, mac?"

And the skeleton says, "ICED TEA!!!"

And the bartender goes, "Iced tea?!"

And the skeleton says, "WHY YES! I LOVED ICED TEA!!!"

LOL!!!






Don't worry, nobody ever gets it.


----------



## teller (Apr 24, 2009)

Oh...another favorite of mine:

A chicken walks into a bar...the bartender says, "What'll it be, mac?'

And the chicken is like, "Bagawck!"

And the bartender says, "Uh...I'm sorry, what?"

"Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!"

"Is that a drink?"

"BaGAWK!!!"

Fast forward about a year...same bar, same bartender...only difference: There is now a sign hanging that says: "No chickens."


----------



## d4m4s74 (Apr 24, 2009)

An atheist was walking trough a forest, when suddenly he spotted a bear.
He ran away towards the nearest cabin, but just before he reached it, the bear got him. 
"OH GOD!" Shouted the atheist, and time stood still.
No leaves moving, no birds singing, he only heard one thing.
The voice of god came from the sky.
"My son, you have never believed in me, and in the time of greatest need you called out my name. Why is this?"
The atheist replied "I don't know, it's the first thing I thought of. But can you do me a favor?"
God said "Okay, I will grant you one favor. Let me guess, you want the bear gone?"
The atheist: "That's a bit too much to ask, but can you make the bear christian?"

Time restarted, The atheist looked at the sky, he looked at the bear, and slipped away while it said grace.


----------



## qqwref (Apr 24, 2009)

Unknown.soul said:


> Two peanuts walk into a dark alley, and one was a salted.



I prefer the Monty Python version, where it's the German response to the English "killer joke" (which kills anyone who listens to it and was thus used as a war weapon):
"There were zwei peanuts walking down the strasse... und one was a salted... peanut."



d4m4s74 said:


> Time restarted, The atheist looked at the sky, he looked at the bear, and slipped away while it said grace.



Haha, nice one


----------



## shelley (Apr 24, 2009)

Two elephants were sitting in a bathtub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other responds, "No soap, radio."


----------



## kaixax555 (Apr 24, 2009)

This one is really stupid, but quite nice.

Once there were 3 brothers.
One of them, all 3 brothers die at the same time.
All 3 brothers reach the gates of heaven.
God told them:"If you want to enter the gates of heaven, you have to answer my riddle, if you get it right, you may enter."
First brother is the first one to answer.
He is an ardent Christian, who supports Christianity enthusiastically.
God is pleased with him, and decides to give him a simple question.
God asked:"What ship sank in the Atlantic in 1912?"
First brother answered:"The Titanic."
God replied:"That is correct! You may enter."
Next up is the second brother.
He is more of a atheist, not an ardent Christian.
God is not as happy with him, therefore deciding to ask a tougher question.
God asked:"How many people died in the Titanic?"
Second brother thought for a while, and answered:"1000 people."
God knew the answer was not exact, but it was good enough, so He said:"All right, you may enter."
Finally it was Third Brother's turn.
He hates Christianity, he talks bad about it, and beats Christians up.
God detests him, and decides to give him an extremely tough question, or maybe two.
God asked:"How many people died in the Titanic?"
Third brother, having heard the answer from second brother, gleefully replied:"1000."
God then asked a question that got Third Brother stumped.
"Name all of them."


----------



## mazei (Apr 24, 2009)

Here's a blond joke, not that I have anything against blonds.

There were 3 women, a brunette, a blond, and a red head. in a room with a magic mirror. If you say a false statement to the mirror you will disappear. So the brunette faced the mirror and said "I think I am very beautiful" and POOF! She was gone. The red head went next and said "I think I am kind hearted" and POOF! She was gone. Then the blond went and said "I think..." POOF! She was gone.

I kinda changed it a bit because at school this appeared in many versions, a racist one, a dumb blond one with many types of statements made by the other two. So you can go ahead change it and use it.


----------



## Stefan (Apr 24, 2009)

mazei said:


> So you can go ahead change it and use it.


Oh wow, thanks for the permission. And I guess that means you invented this joke?


----------



## qqwref (Apr 24, 2009)

Hm, let's see if I can say this one correctly.

One day, an old atheist who had been neither a good person nor a bad person died in his sleep. Since he wasn't a good person (or a Christian) God didn't want him in heaven, so his soul was sent to hell. But since he wasn't a bad person, Satan didn't want to torment him too much, so Satan offered him a deal: he would be shown all of the rooms where people are tormented in various ways, and he could choose which room he wanted to spend the rest of eternity in.

So Satan opens the first door and there is a huge room with cockroaches and other bugs all over the floor, and here and there there are people standing on their heads. The man says, "there's no way I want to spend millions of years enduring that - I hate bugs!" So Satan leads him to the next room and opens the second door. Behind it is a huge room, with the entire floor covered in shards of broken glass, and again there are many people there, all standing on their heads. The man says, "that looks very painful... let's see what the next rooms have to offer." Then Satan leads him to the third room and opens the door. This room is huge just like the others and the entire floor is covered with poop - but this time, the people in it are walking around! "That's not so bad," says the man, "I'll be in this room if you don't mind." Satan's happy to grant this request, and after the man walks into the room Satan locks the door behind him.

Not ten seconds later a booming voice comes through the air: "All right, your five-minute break's over, get back on your heads!"


----------



## mazei (Apr 24, 2009)

StefanPochmann said:


> mazei said:
> 
> 
> > So you can go ahead change it and use it.
> ...



Nope I didn't invent it but just that some people just don't know how to improvise and use the same thing exactly like how it was.


----------



## Derrick Eide17 (Apr 24, 2009)

Kian said:


> .........."The Aristocrats".
> 
> or
> 
> *Two muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "Gosh, it's hot in here." The other responds "Holy crap, a talking muffin!"*




Haha

I am in class as I read that and I almost burst out laughing  
very nice


----------



## Nukoca (Apr 24, 2009)

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”




Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute.

“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”



And my favorite:

A pirate is walking down the road with a steering wheel in his pants. He passes another pirate, who says, "Ya know ya got a steerin' wheel in yer pants, aye?" And the first pirate looks down and says, "I know! It's drivin' me nuts!!"


----------



## Odin (Apr 24, 2009)

After getting all of Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning ."There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
Reluctantly,the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the pope floors it, accelerating the limo to 120 mph.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, my God, Im gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," said the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "The president?"

Cop: "Even bigger"

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver!"


----------



## Leviticus (Apr 24, 2009)

Kian said:


> .........."The Aristocrats".
> 
> or
> 
> Two muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "Gosh, it's hot in here." The other responds "Holy crap, a talking muffin!"



Isn't that off _Two and a Half Men_?

Haha


----------



## d4m4s74 (Apr 24, 2009)

Leviticus said:


> Kian said:
> 
> 
> > .........."The Aristocrats".
> ...


no, it's older then that,

they did use it though


----------



## Sa967St (Apr 24, 2009)

Nukoca said:


> A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
> 
> The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
> 
> ...


I've heard those ones before  definately some of my favouties


----------



## FrozenProk (Apr 24, 2009)

What's brown and sticky??

A: a stick.

aaaand...

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

A: Dam.


----------



## Kyle™ (Apr 24, 2009)

So a baby seal walks into a club.


----------



## shelley (Apr 24, 2009)

Nerdy pirate jokes!

Q: How do pirates study their chemical compounds?
A: They use NM-Arrrrrrrrrrr. (and/or FTI-Arrrrrrrrrrrrr)

Q: What is a pirate's favorite amino acid?
A: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrginine!

Q: What is a pirate's favorite element?
A1: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgon?
A2: No, gold, you idiot.


----------



## MTGjumper (Apr 24, 2009)

Odin said:


> After getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb...




My mate told me that jokes a couple of days ago. Where did you happen to hear it, if you heard or read it recently?


----------



## Bryan (Apr 24, 2009)

MTGjumper said:


> Odin said:
> 
> 
> > After getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
> ...



Did your mate also use John Paul? Just curious if people aren't aware there's a new pope, or is using the old one somehow made it funnier.


----------



## Odin (Apr 24, 2009)

@MTGjumper: My dad told me that joke a few months ago.

@Bryan: I didn’t know we got a new pope,*sigh*, I edited my original post.


----------



## Nukoca (Apr 24, 2009)

MTGjumper said:


> Odin said:
> 
> 
> > Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver!"
> ...




You shouldn't post the whole thing, that wastes space on the page. :/


----------



## Sa967St (Apr 24, 2009)

Knock knock.

Whose there?

Interupting cow

Interupting c-

MOO


----------



## Stefan (Apr 24, 2009)

http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com/


----------



## Kian (Apr 25, 2009)

Odin said:


> @MTGjumper: My dad told me that joke a few months ago.
> 
> @Bryan: I didn’t know we got a new pope,*sigh*, I edited my original post.



no biggie, it's only been like 4 years. haha


----------



## Nukoca (Apr 25, 2009)

StefanPochmann said:


> http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com/




Copied and pasted to Microsoft Word (27 pages!). I'll read it later.


----------



## soccerking813 (Apr 25, 2009)

I didn't bother reading it. 

Here is a sport's fan oriented joke.

A Boston Red Sox fan was traveling in New York City. Whenever he was driving down the street, and saw a man wearing a yankee cap, he would swerve over and nearly hit him.

One day he saw a priest walking down the road. He decided to give him a lift. He pulled over behind the priest, and said, "Could I take you somewhere, sir?"

The priest fot in the back seat and said he was going to the church up the road.

After two minuutes, the man saw a yankee fan walking down the street. He swerved over, but swerved back just in time. Nevertheless, he heard a loud thud on the side of the car.

He turned and said the the priest, "I am sorry father, I came near to hitting him, but missed."

The priest responded, "Don't worry, I got him with the door."


----------



## Thieflordz5 (Apr 25, 2009)

Odin said:


> After getting all of Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb...



That one's good...

Here's one I just found...

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were 2 boy
kittens and 2 girl kittens."

How did you know?" his mother asked.

"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."


And here's one my brother told me (after reading numerous puns...):
Him-So how do bears get around? (waits) WITH BARE FEET!!!

Me- I can't bear these jokes any more... (I was deemed lord of the puns at school by my friends...)


----------



## Ellis (Apr 25, 2009)

StefanPochmann said:


> http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com/



I just read all that after pasting it into word. The punchline was pretty silly but it really made me laugh. I think it was only that it was refreshing after the 20+ pages of story that wasn't funny. I don't regret reading it though. As for the part after the joke.... mehh.


----------



## holypasta (Apr 25, 2009)

shelley said:


> Two elephants were sitting in a bathtub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other responds, "No soap, radio."



my favorite joke in the world.


----------



## Ellis (Apr 25, 2009)

grama said:


> StefanPochmann said:
> 
> 
> > http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com/
> ...



I thought it was funnier than most of the jokes in this thread.


----------



## Odin (Apr 25, 2009)

StefanPochmann said:


> http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com/



Great joke, it was worth spending a hour of my life reading


----------



## teller (Apr 25, 2009)

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"


(silence...wait for about 15 seconds)





"Java"


----------



## spdcbr (Apr 25, 2009)

Q: A monkey slipped on a bannana peel. When he looked around, there was a monkey, and he also had slipped on a bananna peel. They exchanged bananna peels and beat each other up. HAHAahahahahhahahahaahaahahahaa!

A:Don't worry, no one ever gets it.


----------



## daniel0731ex (Apr 26, 2009)

here's a joke i invented:

Q: what's the health problem that spiderman has?
A: heart attack


----------



## mazei (Apr 26, 2009)

I don't get it.


----------



## daniel0731ex (Apr 26, 2009)

mazei said:


> I don't get it.



"first, we attack his heart!!!"


----------



## EmersonHerrmann (Apr 26, 2009)

I still don't get it.

Edit: Green Goblin quote? Still doesn't sound like a joke...


----------



## Robert-Y (Apr 26, 2009)

Can someone explain Tyson's joke? I don't get it... 

Q: What's the difference between a duck?

A: Its one leg is other the same.

EDIT: Grrr I really want to understand it... Apparently it's really funny if you get it before the punchline.


----------



## Ellis (Apr 26, 2009)

Robert-Y said:


> Can someone explain Tyson's joke? I don't get it...
> 
> Q: What's the difference between a duck?
> 
> ...



Why do you say it apparently is? I think it is, but why do you think it should be?


----------



## Robert-Y (Apr 26, 2009)

Ellis said:


> Robert-Y said:
> 
> 
> > Can someone explain Tyson's joke? I don't get it...
> ...



What? I was trying to understand the joke by typing it into google and whenever I read an explanation, people kept saying that it's really funny if you get it before the punchline


----------



## Ellis (Apr 26, 2009)

You're trying too hard to understand it, there's no deep hidden meaning that you have to look for. What's the difference between a duck? That itself is funny. Its one leg is other the same. It's nonsensical for the most part, that's what makes it funny. There are many jokes like that.


----------



## EmersonHerrmann (Apr 26, 2009)

I still don't think it's funny....


----------



## Ellis (Apr 26, 2009)

It's much funnier than daniel's joke


----------



## Robert-Y (Apr 26, 2009)

I'm kinda disappointed, I was hoping to laugh out loud with the duck joke and tell it to my friends...


----------



## Lofty (Apr 26, 2009)

Tyson and Shelley's jokes are just supposed to be funny because they don't make sense. Tyson's also parodies a type of joke "Whats the difference between x and y?" The joke starts when only one option is given. 
I don't think it either are very funny. The only chance they have to be funny for me is being told over and over and becoming a running joke between you and your friends.


----------



## daniel0731ex (Apr 26, 2009)

All right, here's another jjoke:

Q: what's the difference between the elephant and a flea?

A: an elephant can have fleas, but a flea can't have elephant




(BTW i don't get the ending of thelongestjokeintheworld...could anyone tell me?)


----------



## Ellis (Apr 26, 2009)

daniel0731ex said:


> (BTW i don't get the ending of thelongestjokeintheworld...could anyone tell me?)



I don't want to ruin the punch line for anyone whose going to read it. white text ->It's just a play on words. Is english your native language? They took a common saying and switched the lettering/words around and made it relative to the story. Look at the phrase at the end in caps and see if it sounds like a saying that you've heard.

By the way... that sucks if you really read all that and didn't understand the punch line!! Or maybe you didnt read all of it, and just the end, that would also be another reason not to understand it.


----------



## cmhardw (Apr 26, 2009)

I also read the entire longestjoke in the world. To avoid spoilering it for others I'll hide the last bit


Spoiler



I didn't find the punchline to be particularly funny, but I did enjoy the story. I also forgot that it was supposed to be a joke after several lines. I wonder if that bit about it being a personality test is true.


----------



## Ellis (Apr 26, 2009)

Well I thought it was funny... I seem to be the only one so far (out of 4 or 5) that did.


----------



## teller (Apr 26, 2009)

*"Duckie's vacation on Caprica"*


----------



## qqwref (Apr 26, 2009)

Q: How is a raven like a writing-desk?


----------



## DavidWoner (Apr 26, 2009)

qqwref said:


> Q: How is a raven like a writing-desk?



A: Quite sneakily.


----------



## SlapShot (Apr 26, 2009)

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He lived a very good life, and never
smoke or drank. While in Heaven, he looks down at the people in Hell, and sees that they have kegs of beer and women. He says to an Angel "gee, it
looks like they're having a good time down there". The Angel replies "I don't think so. The kegs are full of holes, and the women aren't.




What's the difference between a professional boxer and a pregnant woman ??
The boxer stood up and got knocked down, and the pregnant woman laid down and got knocked up.


----------



## sooland (Apr 27, 2009)

Why do robbers steal from monks?
Because they never want it back


----------



## Poke (Apr 27, 2009)

The longest joke ever is the LONGEST setup for one of the WORST puns I have ever heard.


----------



## waffle=ijm (Apr 27, 2009)

so 5 guys die and go the entrance of heaven. since they were all sinners, god made a deal to let them into heaven only if they could climb the steps to heaven. 

there were 100 steps. at each step, an angel would tell a joke to them. if they laughed they would burn in hell for all eternity. 

one by one they went. the first guy stepped on the first step, the angel told a joke and he laughed and went to hell

the second guy did a little better but he laughed at a joke went to hell too

the next 2 guys did a little better than the other guy before him. but they still went to hell.

the last guy however stepped ALL THE WAY to the 99th step. the angel told a joke and he laughed. 

then god asked the last guy "you were doing so well...why did you laugh?"

he said in reply, "sorry, I just got the first joke."


----------



## Ellis (Apr 27, 2009)

Poke said:


> The longest joke ever is the LONGEST setup for one of the WORST puns I have ever heard.



That's what makes it funny.


----------



## JTW2007 (Apr 27, 2009)

qqwref said:


> Q: How is a raven like a writing-desk?



A: I haven't the slightest idea.

Dyslexics Untie!


----------



## Fobo911 (Apr 27, 2009)

*Two A-Holes (darn profanity)*
Bubba died in a fire in his trailer. He was very badly burned and needed someone to identify him, so the morgue called his two buddies Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe.

Jim-Bob went in and and said "Yep, he's got burned up purdy bad. Roll 'im over," said Jim-Bob. The mortician rolled him over, Jim-Bob looked at his butt and said, "Nope, it ain't Bubba."

Not saying a thing, but finding it strange, the mortician brought in Billy-Joe. "Yep, he's burned up real bad. Roll 'im over," said Billy-Joe. The mortician rolled him over, Billy-Joe looked down at his butt and said, "It ain't Bubba."

"How can you tell?" asked the mortician.

"Bubba had two a-holes," replied Billy-Joe. "Two a-holes? That's impossible!" said the mortician.

"Yep. Everyone in town knowed Bubba had two a-holes, cause every time the three of us went to town, everyone would yell, 'here comes Bubba with them two a-holes!"


----------



## daniel0731ex (Apr 27, 2009)

Ellis said:


> daniel0731ex said:
> 
> 
> > (BTW i don't get the ending of thelongestjokeintheworld...could anyone tell me?)
> ...




i still don't get it:confused: and no, i have only been in Canada for one and a half years


----------



## Ellis (Apr 27, 2009)

daniel0731ex said:


> i still don't get it:confused: and no, i have only been in Canada for one and a half years



Apparently I'm the only one that found it funny, so you surely won't find it funny either if I explain it further.


----------



## shelley (Apr 27, 2009)

Haha, I actually kind of enjoyed the longest joke in the world. The elaborate setup for such a lame pun is what makes it funny. And the story wasn't bad either.



JTW2007 said:


> Dyslexics Untie!


I put the sexy in dyslexia!


----------



## Stefan (Apr 27, 2009)

Ellis said:


> Poke said:
> 
> 
> > The longest joke ever is the LONGEST setup for one of the WORST puns I have ever heard.
> ...





Spoiler



I'm one of those who skipped to the end (after 1-2 minutes) and I'm certain it was the right decision. That punch line is exactly the kind of bad pun that pisses me off. Plus I suspected they made it so long just to have the longest joke and I despised that. Well, apparently they did it for that psychology research, which I'd probably despise if I had read the whole thing. Maybe the story was good, but I believe I have better and more interesting stuff to read. They suggest early skippers are people who can't enjoy the travel to a goal, but that's just wrong. Truth is I choose travels interesting and joyful to me, and they failed providing one such and now blame it on me.


----------



## Ellis (Apr 27, 2009)

StefanPochmann said:


> Ellis said:
> 
> 
> > Poke said:
> ...




I did dislike what was after the story. That's the part that I started to read and figured it wasn't worth the effort, but it didn't make me hate the whole story. It was good and I enjoyed it. I'm sure there are loads of better and more interesting things to read, but I didn't walk away from it thinking "pfft, I just wasted my time when I could have been reading so and so."


----------



## Stefan (Apr 27, 2009)

Yes, I do realize people can read and enjoy it and don't regret it afterwards (though maybe they're just rationalizing their wasted time (though maybe I'm just rationalizing my wasted opportunity)). Seems like people do do what's best for them. If I suspected everybody would be pissed off reading it all (like I suspect I would've been) and some would read it all... well, that would've been just cruel.


----------



## Ellis (Apr 27, 2009)

Well I don't think you need to be worried about any missed opportunity. I don't think anyone who skipped it missed very much. And I don't think I'm trying to rationalize any wasted time, I waste a lot of time and don't need to rationalize it when I do. I do feel bad for anyone that took the time and either didn't get the bad joke, or didn't enjoy the story. It's funny to find out now that you had just skipped to the end, was unimpressed, and then posted it. I don't think it was cruel, just funny.


----------



## Swoncen (Apr 27, 2009)

StefanPochmann said:


> Ellis said:
> 
> 
> > Poke said:
> ...



I skipped after 5 seconds because of the same reason.


----------



## Carugo (Apr 30, 2009)

In a wood ,a rabbit is chased by a bear.
He's running ,but the bear,faster, is nearly to him.The rabbit encouters a lamp and decides to rub it .
The bear , who's now just next to the rabbit , is surprised.

Then , a genius gets out of the lamp _(I know you saw that coming)_ and says :"You let me out , you may now ask for three wishes ...(each)"

The rabbit lets the bear begin. The bear thinks for a while , then looks at the genius and says :
*"I'd like you to make all the others bears in this wood females"*
And so does the genius.
The rabbit says :
*"I'd like a helmet"*
And the genius makes a helmet appear and give it to the rabbit.
The bear , looks at the rabbit and tells him :
*"Are you stupid or something ? You can ask whatever you want and you ask for a helmet ? "
"Yeah I know but I really want a helmet ..."*


bear : *"Ok , now I want all the others bears in the near woods to be females"*
rabbit : *"I want a motorcycle"*
bear : *"... you stupid"*


bear : *"For my last wish I want you to make all the female bears fall in love with me"*
and then the rabbit says : *"I want the bear to be gay"* and he runs away with his motorcycle



PS : sorry for my bad english ^^


----------



## mazei (Apr 30, 2009)

Is it suppose to be genius or are you aiming for genie? But funny either way.


----------



## Carugo (Apr 30, 2009)

I don't know the english word 
In french it's "génie"


----------



## Carugo (May 1, 2009)

Yes it's the same


----------



## PatrickJameson (May 1, 2009)

It was once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly. 100 days into Obama's presidency, swine flu.

Got this from a chain text message a few minutes ago. XD


----------



## d4m4s74 (May 1, 2009)

PatrickJameson said:


> It was once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly. 100 days into Obama's presidency, swine flu.
> 
> Got this from a chain text message a few minutes ago. XD


perfect, just perfect


----------



## miniGOINGS (May 1, 2009)

lol and its a mix of swine avion flu,, hence the flying part


----------



## Stefan (May 1, 2009)

miniGOINGS said:


> lol and its a mix of swine avion flu,, hence the flying part


Hint: That's not needed.


----------



## Ellis (May 1, 2009)

miniGOINGS said:


> lol and its a mix of swine avion flu,, hence the flying part



lol wut?


----------



## Stefan (May 1, 2009)

Ellis said:


> miniGOINGS said:
> 
> 
> > lol and its a mix of swine avion flu,, hence the flying part
> ...


He meant "avian" (bird) flu, just misspelled it. After he failed to realize that "flu" is pronounced just like "flew". Why do I explain English to Americans?


----------



## miniGOINGS (May 1, 2009)

its actuaally called H1N1 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_swine_flu_outbreak


----------



## Stefan (May 1, 2009)

miniGOINGS said:


> its actuaally called H1N1 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_swine_flu_outbreak


Yeah, that's why the title of *that page* says "2009 *swine flu* outbreak".


----------



## Ellis (May 1, 2009)

StefanPochmann said:


> Ellis said:
> 
> 
> > miniGOINGS said:
> ...



No, I don't care about the spelling. I was just referring to the addition of avian. It killed the joke.


----------



## d4m4s74 (May 1, 2009)

I stole this one for my messenger nickname


----------



## Nukoca (May 3, 2009)

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.



An investment advisor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impresive. And what sort of case was that?" asked the investment advisor.

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."


----------



## shelley (May 3, 2009)

That reminds me of this joke: http://www.lawlaughs.com/mature/squareballs.html (mild content warning)


----------



## qqwref (May 3, 2009)

shelley said:


> That reminds me of this joke: http://www.lawlaughs.com/mature/squareballs.html (mild content warning)





shelley said:


> http://www.lawlaughs.com/mature/squareballs.html





shelley said:


> www.lawlaughs.com





shelley said:


> lawl



lol


----------



## mazei (May 3, 2009)

My dad told me that joke once. And I was just 12...lol...


----------



## Scigatt (May 3, 2009)

This is one I found a long time ago(It's more groan-worthy, I think, though):

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What’s yours?"

"I’ll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That will be $9.40 please,’ and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, ‘A hamburger, fries and a coke’

The ostrich says, ‘I’ll have the same.’

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. ‘The usual?’ asks the waitress.

‘No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the man.

‘Same,’ says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

‘Well,’ says the man, ’several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.’

‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live. It’s brilliant!’

‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there,’ says the man.

The waitress asks, ‘What’s with the ostrich?’

The man sighs, pauses and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.’

Also some math/science jokes:

"The number you have dialed is imaginary.
Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again." 

"A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks:
Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?"


----------



## spdcbr (May 3, 2009)

Another monkey joke(that I made up): One monkey says to the other lets be friends but then a gorilla comes along and eats a bannana and monkey number one says to the gorilla "may I have your bananna?" Then the gorilla says "sure" and he throws it. Then, monkey number one and two fight over it and become the worst enemies in the world that started every war and terriorism and suicide bomb that all happened because of a gorilla that was kind and generous and had a bananna in his hand.


----------



## Nukoca (May 3, 2009)

Scigatt said:


> "The number you have dialed is imaginary.
> Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."
> 
> "A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks:
> Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?"



LOLZ!


----------



## 04mucklowd (May 3, 2009)

I have this friend, he died the other week
he lived in a wheel chair, so he was depressed
me and my friends decided we had to cheer him up
so we painted him silver, gave him a sword and sent him off to Robot Wars


----------



## shelley (May 3, 2009)

An engineer, a scientist and a mathematician were traveling through the country and decided to stay at a cheap motel one night. As they slept, the trash can in their room burst into flames. The engineer woke up, got the fire extinguisher from the hall, and covered half the room in carbon dioxide foam, putting out the fire.

A while later, the trash can burst into flames again. The scientist woke up, assessed the fire, calculated the exact amount of water needed to put it out, pulled a graduated cylinder from his suitcase, and proceeded to pour the exact amount of water from the faucet onto the fire, putting it out.

The mathematician then woke up and saw some still smoldering embers in the trash can. He considers this for a bit, then fans them into a flame. Satisfied that he had reduced it to a previously solved problem, he went back to bed.


----------



## EmersonHerrmann (May 3, 2009)

That's a great one Shelley xD


----------



## Poke (May 3, 2009)

shelley said:


> An engineer, a scientist and a mathematician were traveling through the country and decided to stay at a cheap motel one night. As they slept, the trash can in their room burst into flames. The engineer woke up, got the fire extinguisher from the hall, and covered half the room in carbon dioxide foam, putting out the fire.
> 
> A while later, the trash can burst into flames again. The scientist woke up, assessed the fire, calculated the exact amount of water needed to put it out, pulled a graduated cylinder from his suitcase, and proceeded to pour the exact amount of water from the faucet onto the fire, putting it out.
> 
> The mathematician then woke up and saw some still smoldering embers in the trash can. He considers this for a bit, then fans them into a flame. Satisfied that he had reduced it to a previously solved problem, he went back to bed.


 
One of the greasest jokes ever.


----------



## qqwref (May 3, 2009)

Yeah, I love that one. Although I'm not entirely sure what a "scientist" is.

EDIT: Similar joke in the same vein (not my joke):
A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and out of the house on the other side of the street. At a certain time they believe the house to be empty. Then they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people coming out of the house...
The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate."
The Biologist: "They must have reproduced."
The Mathematician: "Now if exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again."


----------



## Vulosity (May 3, 2009)

Am I the only one who doesn't get shelley's joke?


----------



## Ethan Rosen (May 3, 2009)

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.


----------



## soccerking813 (May 3, 2009)

Lol, took me a minute to get that one. But I lolled.


----------



## slncuber21 (May 4, 2009)

Q: Bob's father had 3 sons, Snap Crackle and...?
(wait for them to guess)
A1: (if they say Pop) No, Bob you idiot.

this is supossed to be said quite fast at the beginning so it sounds like Pop, but whatever. it works =P


----------



## Nukoca (May 9, 2009)

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: *Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.*

Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"What's the big deal?" the caretaker says. "He's just decomposing."


----------



## mazei (May 10, 2009)

Nukoca said:


> A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: *Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.*
> 
> Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.
> 
> ...



Now that's classic.


----------



## daniel0731ex (May 12, 2009)

mazei said:


> Now that's classic.




haha, that's classic


----------



## SlapShot (May 13, 2009)

Denny's is now offering The Octo Mom breakfast. 8 eggs, no sausage.
And everybody in the restaurant has to help chip in to pay for it.


----------



## mazei (May 13, 2009)

C:/DOS
C:/DOS/RUN
RUN/DOS/RUN

Saw this on Simpson's the episode where Lisa gets accepted to the high IQ club or something like that. I think its correctly written.


----------



## guusrs (May 13, 2009)

a mathematical funtion is walking down the street and suddenly a mathematical differentation is showing up. Because the function doesn't seem to be scared at all the differentation says: "Why are you not running away? every function should be afraid for me!". The function laughs and answers "me afraid? I'm an exp(x)". "That's bad for you" the differentation answers while eliminating him, "I'm a diff(y)".


----------



## Nukoca (May 13, 2009)

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? 
A: Nice belt!

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? 
A: Pumpkin Pi!

Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? 
A: A high school math problem!

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't...

"What is Pi?" 
A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter." 
A computer programmer: "Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision." 
A physicist: "Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005." 
An engineer: "Pi is about 22/7." 
A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"

http://www.math.ualberta.ca/~runde/jokes.html


----------



## Tim Reynolds (May 13, 2009)

Nukoca said:


> Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
> A: A high school math problem!


If that's a high school math problem, that's quite sad...



Nukoca said:


> "What is Pi?"
> A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."



A mathematician would first define the real numbers [which of course involves stating the definition of a set and all of ZF's axioms], an ordered pair, R^2, the unit circle as a subset of R^2, the definition of measure, the Riemann integral, and arc length as a Riemann integral. Then they'd prove from those definitions that the ratio of arclength of a circle of arbitrary radius to its diameter is in fact a constant, and denote that constant pi. And they'd use the word "trivial" arbitrarily many times.


----------



## nitrocan (May 13, 2009)

Nukoca said:


> ...
> http://www.math.ualberta.ca/~runde/jokes.html




I just found this at that website and burst out laughing 


An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.
The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint...
"I understand", says the bartender - and pours two pints.


----------



## shelley (May 13, 2009)

Tim Reynolds said:


> Nukoca said:
> 
> 
> > Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
> ...



I think the joke is on pathetic high school math education.

I know there are some colleges that offer basic algebra for people who haven't taken it before. How does someone get all the way through high school without taking algebra? What exactly do they learn?


----------



## Mike Hughey (May 13, 2009)

shelley said:


> I know there are some colleges that offer basic algebra for people who haven't taken it before. How does someone get all the way through high school without taking algebra? What exactly do they learn?



I've often wondered that too. And the stranger thing is that even at good colleges, those courses are usually full. And it's not something new - it was true even way way back when I was in college.


----------



## EmersonHerrmann (May 13, 2009)

I even know basic algebra...and I'm in middle school (almost high school, though.)


----------



## bamman1108 (May 13, 2009)

http://www.mitadmissions.org/topics/misc/miscellaneous/everybody_loves_a_math_joke.shtml

Also, I'm back


----------



## qqwref (May 13, 2009)

We have an basic Algebra course at Caltech. But be careful, it's actually group theory. (And it's really hard.)

I like Guus's joke but I feel like I ought to rewrite it to use the notation I'm used to:
A mathematical function is walking down the street in a bad neighborhood when suddenly a differential operator shows up out of nowhere. The function isn't scared at all, so the differential operator says: "Why aren't you running away? I'm a differential operator - every function should be scared!". Laughing, the function answers: "Me? Afraid? I'm e^x!" "That's too bad then," the differentatial operator answers, eliminating him, "because I'm d/dy."


EDIT: Ooh, here's a really good one:

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math.
The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?"
"You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!"


----------



## Thieflordz5 (Jun 14, 2009)

*1000 Cubing jokes*

Name your favorite cubing jokes.
I'll start:
1) What's a pirate's favorite PLL?
the "Arr-permutation" 

Sorry for the horrible pun


----------



## Hadley4000 (Jun 14, 2009)

This will most likely fail...


----------



## Ethan Rosen (Jun 14, 2009)

2. Why couldn't the pirate see the fight cube video?
The website was only available in arrr-stralia


----------



## ConnorCuber (Jun 14, 2009)

What did the Pirate Jim Carrey say when he couldnt find his cube?

ARRR- Righty then


----------



## Thieflordz5 (Jun 14, 2009)

Hadley4000 said:


> This will most likely fail...



Yeah most likely... 
The chance of it succeeding is under (1/100)^3
I'm horrible arn't I?


----------



## IamWEB (Jun 14, 2009)

Answer this:

Why did the chicken solve the cube?


----------



## Thieflordz5 (Jun 14, 2009)

IamWEB said:


> Answer this:
> 
> Why did the chicken solve the cube?



Because he couldn't figure out the solution of the equation Rubix^3=cheese


----------



## Nukoca (Jun 14, 2009)

5) How many cubes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. You solve OH and screw in the lightbulb with your other hand.


----------



## imaghost (Jun 14, 2009)

The real question is, how many cubes does it not take to screw in a light bulb?


----------



## JTW2007 (Jun 14, 2009)

imaghost said:


> The real question is, how many cubes does it not take to screw in a light bulb?



Any number other than one or zero, because if you have one, you can still screw in the lightbulb and if you have zero, you can still screw in the lightbulb. But why would anyone ever have zero cubes?


----------



## calekewbs (Jun 14, 2009)

IamWEB said:


> Answer this:
> 
> Why did the chicken solve the cube?



To get to the last layer!


----------



## Feanaro (Jun 14, 2009)

Two cubes walk into a bar....you think the second one would have ducked


----------



## jcuber (Jun 14, 2009)

Feanaro said:


> Two cubes walk into a bar....you think the second one would have ducked



They were both BLD cubes.


----------



## Robert-Y (Jun 14, 2009)

What's the difference between a cube?

(I don't find this funny but I think some people will)


----------



## calekewbs (Jun 14, 2009)

a cube and a what?


----------



## calekewbs (Jun 14, 2009)

why did th cube fall onto the table?


----------



## Odin (Jun 14, 2009)

IamWEB said:


> Answer this:
> 
> Why did the chicken solve the cube?



To make the ducks look stupid.


----------



## Novriil (Jun 14, 2009)

cause' it was solved? -.-


----------



## calekewbs (Jun 14, 2009)

lol up! lol (based off the classic, "Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead!" lol


----------



## veazer (Jun 14, 2009)

I think some of you may have just insulted the intelligence of my rubik's cube... and while this is a very non-serious thread, it would like an apology.


----------



## jacob15728 (Jun 15, 2009)

Where was that site with all the Frank Morris jokes?


----------



## leeho (Jun 15, 2009)

Two cubes are at a competition. One cube turns to the other and said 'wow, he's fast'. The other one says 'Holy cow! A talking cube!'

Edit: Ok...I should really stop. Ok...just one more.

A woman goes to a competition, what place did she come in?

I don't know but why the hell was she out of the kitchen!

Sorry if anyone's offended by that one. x] -runs-


----------



## Daniel Wu (Jun 15, 2009)

jacob15728 said:


> Where was that site with all the Frank Morris jokes?



http://cube.garron.us/misc/frank_morris.htm???


----------



## JLarsen (Jun 15, 2009)

leeho said:


> Two cubes are at a competition. One cube turns to the other and said 'wow, he's fast'. The other one says 'Holy cow! A talking cube!'
> 
> Edit: Ok...I should really stop. Ok...just one more.
> 
> ...



hahahaha! I like this thread.


----------



## Kian (Jun 15, 2009)

rickcube said:


> jacob15728 said:
> 
> 
> > Where was that site with all the Frank Morris jokes?
> ...



Those are not Frank Morris jokes. Those are Frank Morris facts. Don't be silly.


----------



## KubeKid73 (Jun 15, 2009)

Yeah. Chuck Norris has jokes, Frank Morris has facts.


----------



## ThatGuy (Jun 15, 2009)

Robert-Y said:


> What's the difference between a cube?
> 
> (I don't find this funny but I think some people will)



Is this sort of like accidentally the whole thing?


----------



## ~PromiscuousCuber~ (Jun 15, 2009)

leeho said:


> Two cubes are at a competition. One cube turns to the other and said 'wow, he's fast'. The other one says 'Holy cow! A talking cube!'
> 
> Edit: Ok...I should really stop. Ok...just one more.
> 
> ...



Sorry, but that was the lulziest thing I've heard all day. As stated above, any offence taken by anyone isn't implied. It's just hilarious, albeit in poor taste.


----------



## Novriil (Jun 15, 2009)

leeho said:


> *Two cubes are at a competition. One cube turns to the other and said 'wow, he's fast'. The other one says 'Holy cow! A talking cube!'*
> 
> Edit: Ok...I should really stop. Ok...just one more.
> 
> ...



That really made my day better  Thanks 

How does chuck norris solve a rubik's cube?
He watches it and the cube solves itself


----------



## Musje (Jun 15, 2009)

Novriil said:


> leeho said:
> 
> 
> > *Two cubes are at a competition. One cube turns to the other and said 'wow, he's fast'. The other one says 'Holy cow! A talking cube!'*
> ...


smash it and glue it back together?


----------



## Novriil (Jun 15, 2009)

answer was in the spoiler 

Why WCA doesn't allow chuck norris to compete?



Spoiler



They can't understand why the cube solves itself and count that as cheating


----------



## JTW2007 (Jun 15, 2009)

Novriil said:


> doesn't allow chuck norris



I think you mean Frank Morris...


----------



## IamWEB (Jun 15, 2009)

No, Frank doesn't allow the WCA to let him compete.


----------



## Nukoca (Jun 30, 2009)

http://xkcd.com/

Click the link. Hit "random." Be amused.


----------



## guusrs (Jun 30, 2009)

qqwref said:


> I like Guus's joke but I feel like I ought to rewrite it to use the notation I'm used to:
> A mathematical function is walking down the street in a bad neighborhood when suddenly a differential operator shows up out of nowhere. The function isn't scared at all, so the differential operator says: "Why aren't you running away? I'm a differential operator - every function should be scared!". Laughing, the function answers: "Me? Afraid? I'm e^x!" "That's too bad then," the differentatial operator answers, eliminating him, "because I'm d/dy."


lol
I thought more people would understand the joke when translating the math functions to my daughters TI-language
Gus


----------



## panyan (Jun 30, 2009)

heres a really good one that makes me remember my constant C:


----------



## panyan (Jun 30, 2009)

guusrs said:


> qqwref said:
> 
> 
> > I like Guus's joke but I feel like I ought to rewrite it to use the notation I'm used to:
> ...



OMFG that is so good! 



Ethan Rosen said:


> An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.



in that case, he poured too much 



mazei said:


> C:/DOS
> C:/DOS/RUN
> RUN/DOS/RUN
> 
> Saw this on Simpson's the episode where Lisa gets accepted to the high IQ club or something like that. I think its correctly written.



that is good 



waffle=ijm said:


> so 5 guys die and go the entrance of heaven. since they were all sinners, god made a deal to let them into heaven only if they could climb the steps to heaven.



but their already at the entrance?!


----------



## qqwref (Jul 1, 2009)

panyan said:


> heres a really good one that makes me remember my constant C:



I laughed when I saw "2547 x 3509". The idea that a joke would take almost 9 million pixels to tell properly is pretty funny. (Didn't laugh at the joke, though, I've heard it many times before.)


----------



## EmersonHerrmann (Jul 1, 2009)

panyan said:


> heres a really good one that makes me remember my constant C:



Lmao, that's awesome xD


----------



## Chapuunka (Jun 11, 2010)

This thread needs to be brought to life again.

Sadly I can't remember any good jokes at the moment.


----------



## shelley (Jun 11, 2010)

Is today Bump an Obscenely Old Thread Day? Did I miss some kind of memo? You can bump when you actually think of a good one.


----------



## tanjiajien (Jun 11, 2010)

When I was young, I prayed for a bicycle. But I found out that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness.


----------



## IamWEB (Jun 11, 2010)

How many Eriks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 7.08 lolololololol

Quite hilarious thread.


----------



## Edward (Jun 11, 2010)

IamWEB said:


> How many Eriks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 7.08 lolololololol
> 
> Quite hilarious thread.



How many WEB's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Yu Nakajima lololol- wait

uhh


----------



## ChrisBird (Jun 11, 2010)

Want to hear a joke? Health care reform.

Let me get this straight.

Obama's health care plan will be
written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it,
passed by a Congress that hasn't read it and whose members will be
exempt from it,
signed by a president who smokes,
funded by a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes,
overseen by a surgeon general who is obese and
financed by a country that is broke.

What could possibly go wrong?


----------



## aronpm (Jun 11, 2010)

ChrisBird said:


> signed by a president who smokes
> 
> overseen by a surgeon general who is obese and



BAWWWWWW


----------



## ChrisBird (Jun 11, 2010)

Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what;

metal,

wood,

stone,

anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,

'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.'

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would; marry her and inherit the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.





But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly.




The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.


She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.!
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.



Question: What was in the prince's pants? 



M&M's of course.


They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking? >_>


----------



## goatseforever (Jun 11, 2010)

ChrisBird said:


> Great wall of text



I actually began smiling towards the middle of the joke because I felt something good was coming up. Then came the punch line and I was disappoint.


----------



## megaminxwin (Jun 11, 2010)

Lolz.


----------



## gavnasty (Jun 11, 2010)

That Heisenberg principle joke from two years ago was funny even though I have no idea who Schroedinger is. 

and the M&Ms one too.


----------



## shelley (Jun 11, 2010)

If you have no idea who Schroedinger was, you're missing about half the joke.


----------



## Edmund (Jun 11, 2010)

The Pittsburgh Pirates


----------



## shelley (Jun 11, 2010)

An engineer and a mathematician were walking down the street when they saw a house on fire. A hose and a fire hydrant were nearby, so the engineer connected the hose to the fire hydrant and put out the fire.

The next day the mathematician was walking by himself when he passed by the same house. He disconnected the hose from the hydrant and set the house on fire, then walked away confident that the situation had been reduced to a previously solved problem.

===
This joke is a favorite of the Caltech cubers:

So there's this alligator sitting on the banks of the Nile River. A Romanian man comes along, sees the alligator, and asks, "Mai, ce faci aici?"

Alligator doesn't answer, so the man comes a little closer and asks, "Mai, ce faci aici?"

Alligator still doesn't answer, so the man steps even closer and asks, "Mai, ce faci aici?"

The alligator eats the man, chews a bit, spits out the bones, then says "Ce faci, ce faci. Eu trăiesc aici."


----------



## ThatGuy (Jun 11, 2010)

What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean? 
Möbius Dick...

Two mathematicians are studying a convergent series. 
The first one says: "Do you realize that the series converges even when all the terms are made positive?" 
The second one asks: "Are you sure?" 
"Absolutely!"


----------



## cubedude7 (Jun 11, 2010)

AvGalen said:


> I never imagined that one being real. I have heard it several times on seperate occasions and in several languages.
> 
> Another riddle, Agatha Christie style this time:
> 
> ...


In Dutch:
Zijn hart?

In English:
His heart?


----------



## cubedude7 (Jun 11, 2010)

Translating jokes is so hard...

A man comes to the pharmacist. He asks him: "Do you have a remedy against the hiccups?" The pharmacist leans over the counter and strikes the man full in the face. The man says, baffled: "What was that supposed to be!" The pharmacist says, "Well, now you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you? The man says: "No idiot, but my wife still outside in the car!"


----------



## Chapuunka (Jun 11, 2010)

This joke is much better when said aloud, but we'll try it anyway.

If a bird that flies over the sea is called a seagull, is a bird that flies over the bay called a baygull? (It sounds like "bagel".


----------



## Toad (Jun 11, 2010)

cubedude7 said:


> Translating jokes is so hard...
> 
> A man comes to the pharmacist. He asks him: "Do you have a remedy against the hiccups?" The pharmacist leans over the counter and strikes the man full in the face. The man says, baffled: "What was that supposed to be!" The pharmacist says, "Well, now you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?*"* The man says: "No idiot, but my wife still *does* outside in the car!"



Haha very good 

(Fixed a very language issues I think, otherwise well translated.)


----------



## vcuber13 (Jun 11, 2010)

Edmund said:


> The Pittsburgh Pirates



lol

The Toronto Maple Leafs


----------



## Sa967St (Jun 11, 2010)

Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.

The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. 

She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up. 

Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary. 

"Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?" 

The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand." 

She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the odds of two people having a bomb on the same plane?" 

Again he went through his tables. 

"Extremely remote," he said. "About one in a billion." 

Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office...


Spoiler



and from that day on, every time she flew, she took a bomb with her.


from here


----------



## Toad (Jun 11, 2010)

Sa967St said:


> Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.
> 
> The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.
> 
> ...



Obvious punch line but still brilliant


----------



## James Ludlow (Jun 11, 2010)

Why do builders have see-through Tupperware lunchboxes?



Spoiler



So they know if they are going to work or going home.


----------



## Toad (Jun 11, 2010)

jamesdeanludlow said:


> Why do builders have see-through Tupperware lunchboxes?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



<33333


----------



## James Ludlow (Jun 11, 2010)

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle, "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

"My, my," said the Poodle, "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says....


Spoiler



Liver alone, cheese mine!


----------



## Toad (Jun 11, 2010)

jamesdeanludlow said:


> Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
> 
> The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
> 
> ...



Oh JDL. You are one of the greatest people on this planet.


----------



## cuberkid10 (Jun 11, 2010)

The power went out. All of a sudden, a robber breaks into your home. He has given you options:

1.) Die of Thirst
2.) Die of hunger
3.) Stabbing
4.) Gunshot
5.) Drowning
6.) Carbon Monixide
7.) Electric Chair

You have to choose one. There is no other way out. The robber has an electric chair, gun, knife, and a swimming pool.


----------



## James Ludlow (Jun 11, 2010)

cuberkid10 said:


> The power went out. All of a sudden, a robber breaks into your home. He has given you options:
> 
> 1.) Die of Thirst
> 2.) Die of hunger
> ...



Electric chair - the power went


----------



## Toad (Jun 11, 2010)

jamesdeanludlow said:


> cuberkid10 said:
> 
> 
> > The power went out. All of a sudden, a robber breaks into your home. He has given you options:
> ...



Obvious...


----------



## ChrisBird (Jun 11, 2010)

Paddy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the Yellow Pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and Mick - the Gorilla Remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. 

The Mick arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a hurley (Irish sporting bat), a shotgun and a mean old pit-bull dog. 

"Wot are ya goin to do?" Paddy asks. 

"I'm goin to put dis ladder up against de roof, den I'm goin to go up dere and knock de friggin gorilla off de roof wit dis hurley. Wen de gorilla falls off, de pit-bull is trained to grab ‘is testicles and not let go. De gorilla will den be subdued enough for me to put ‘im in de cage in de back of me van." 

So Mick puts the ladder up, gets the hurley and the shotgun and walks towards the ladder. As he gets to the base of the ladder, he hands the shotgun to Paddy. 

"Wot's de shotgun for?" asks Paddy. 

"If de gorilla knocks me off de roof, shoot de friggin dog!"


----------



## James Ludlow (Jun 11, 2010)

In the spirit of the world cup........

How do you keep cool on a football match?



Spoiler



Stand next to a fan :fp


----------



## EnterPseudonym (Jun 11, 2010)

randomtoad said:


> jamesdeanludlow said:
> 
> 
> > cuberkid10 said:
> ...



i was going to say carbon monoxide because he has no way to find/make it.


----------



## Bryan (Jun 11, 2010)

cuberkid10 said:


> The power went out. All of a sudden, a robber breaks into your home. He has given you options:
> 
> 1.) Die of Thirst
> 2.) Die of hunger
> ...



You realize this is a joke thread and not a riddle thread, right?


----------



## Randomcuber (Jun 11, 2010)

two sausages in a frying pan one says
'oh its hot in here'
the other sayS 'AAAAAAAARRGGGGHHH a talking sausage'


----------



## TheMachanga (Jun 11, 2010)

Why can't Helen Keller drive? 



Spoiler






Spoiler



one more


Spoiler



Because she's a woman


----------



## Chapuunka (Jun 11, 2010)

Helen Keller jokes are just cruel.


----------



## Cyrus C. (Jun 11, 2010)

Two jews walk into a bar. The first one ducks, the second one says "ow!"


----------



## gavnasty (Jun 11, 2010)

I don't know if this is too vulgar, but I think it's hilarious.

Why couldn't the baby fall asleep?



Spoiler



because it was on fire.


----------



## goatseforever (Jun 11, 2010)

TheMachanga said:


> Why can't Helen Keller drive?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



No really, why can't Helen Keller drive??

Because she's dead.


----------



## megaminxwin (Jun 11, 2010)

The fact that masterofthebass has apparently posted over 27,000,000 times but there have been only 384,000 posts altogether...


----------



## StachuK1992 (Jun 11, 2010)

Chapuunka said:


> Helen Keller jokes are just cruel.


Which is why they're funny.


----------



## TheMachanga (Jun 12, 2010)

Give Helen Keller a basketball, tell her to read it.


----------



## Samania (Jun 12, 2010)

HAH. This outta relate to some people:
This girl wears a skirt to school, and everytime she walks up the stairs this boy looks up her skirt and sees her underwear. . 
She tells her mom about it, and her mom tells her to do something about it. 
So the next day, she came home and the mom asked "So how did it go?"
And the girl said


Spoiler



"Well guess what mom? I TRICKED HIM! I DIDNT WEAR UNDERWEAR!


----------



## Robert-Y (Jun 12, 2010)

gavnasty said:


> I don't know if this is too vulgar, but I think it's hilarious.
> 
> Why couldn't the baby fall asleep?
> 
> ...



Does anyone else find this funny? (I don't, I guess I don't understand the joke...)


----------



## TheMachanga (Jun 12, 2010)

Samania said:


> HAH. This outta relate to some people:
> This girl wears a skirt to school, and everytime she walks up the stairs this boy looks up her skirt and sees her underwear. .
> She tells her mom about it, and her mom tells her to do something about it.
> So the next day, she came home and the mom asked "So how did it go?"
> ...


:fp


----------



## Chapuunka (Jun 12, 2010)

Robert-Y said:


> gavnasty said:
> 
> 
> > I don't know if this is too vulgar, but I think it's hilarious.
> ...



It's a dead baby joke. Only funny to the immature. 

Another: What's the difference between a baby and a tree?



Spoiler



One's fun to chop up with an axe...the other one's just a tree.


----------



## Feryll (Jun 12, 2010)

Chapuunka said:


> Robert-Y said:
> 
> 
> > gavnasty said:
> ...


Lol. I changed it to make it cube-esque.


----------



## Chapuunka (Jun 12, 2010)

Clever. How 'bout cannibal jokes?

Some cannibals are sitting at dinner. One says to the other, "I really can't stand my mother-in-law." The other cannibal replies, "Then just eat the noodles."


----------



## Samania (Jun 12, 2010)

Chapuunka said:


> Clever. How 'bout cannibal jokes?
> 
> Some cannibals are sitting at dinner. One says to the other, "I really can't stand my mother-in-law." The other cannibal replies, "Then just eat the noodles."



HAH! THAT ONE WAS GOOD!


----------



## Logan (Jun 12, 2010)

I've heard this a few times.

Very inappropriate:


Spoiler



Q. What do a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.


----------



## Forte (Jun 12, 2010)

A man sends in ten puns as entries to a Best Pun competition. A couple weeks later, his friend asks him, "Did any of your puns win the Best Pun Competition?"

The man says,


Spoiler



"No pun in ten did!"

>_>


----------



## Daniel Wu (Jun 12, 2010)

Forte said:


> A man sends in ten puns as entries to a Best Pun competition. A couple weeks later, his friend asks him, "Did any of your puns win the Best Pun Competition?"
> 
> The man says,
> 
> ...


Hahaha. That's very punny. 

Getit? Okay.. Guess not... :/


----------



## FruitSalad (Jun 12, 2010)

More cube jokes pwease :3


----------



## fundash (Jun 12, 2010)

Super Racist joke...



Spoiler



What do you say if you see a floating TV at night?


Spoiler



"Drop it N*****!!"


----------



## miniGOINGS (Jun 12, 2010)

Why can't women drive?



Spoiler



There are no roads in the kitchen.


----------



## Chapuunka (Jun 12, 2010)

FruitSalad said:


> More cube jokes pwease :3



http://www.speedsolving.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3779


----------



## JTW2007 (Jun 12, 2010)

Forte said:


> A man sends in ten puns as entries to a Best Pun competition. A couple weeks later, his friend asks him, "Did any of your puns win the Best Pun Competition?"
> 
> The man says,
> 
> ...



That was monumentally awesome.


----------



## CuBeOrDiE (Jun 12, 2010)

fundash said:


> Super Racist joke...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Here's another racist joke:

What do you call a bunch of white men running downhill ?


Spoiler



an avalanche


What do you call a bunch of black men running downhill ?


Spoiler



a mudslide


What do you call a bunch of Latinos running downhill ?


Spoiler



BREAKOUT!


 funny


----------



## TheMachanga (Jun 12, 2010)

Very racist joke my friend told me

What do you call a school bus filled with white people?


Spoiler



Twinkie



What do you call a school bus filled with black people?


Spoiler



Neighborhood High school


----------



## megaminxwin (Jun 13, 2010)

megaminxwin said:


> The fact that masterofthebass has apparently posted over *27,000,000* times but there have been only 384,000 posts altogether...



Make that 2,147,483,647.


----------



## iSpinz (Jun 13, 2010)

megaminxwin said:


> megaminxwin said:
> 
> 
> > The fact that masterofthebass has apparently posted over *27,000,000* times but there have been only 384,000 posts altogether...
> ...



That number is oddly familiar.... Ah! The max mesos in maplestory.


----------



## jackdexter75 (Jun 13, 2010)

What did God say when he made Black people?


Spoiler



Oops, Burnt one


How much sperm does a gay guy have?


Spoiler



a buttload


Why do black people have white hands and feet?


Spoiler



'Cause God made them stand with their hands against a wall while he spraypainted them


What does a Rubik's cube have in common with a c0ck?


Spoiler



the longer you play with it the harder it gets


----------



## Tim Major (Jun 13, 2010)

miniGOINGS said:


> Why can't women drive?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Ahg, you didn't tell it right. It doesn't make sense the way you said it. It's,
'Why do women drive? There's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom."

I know a tonne of racist jokes that are far better than the ones posted, because my class is sooo racist. In my class, your race is all that matters. We have most main races in our class, so plenty of racist jokes. But I don't think you should really be posting racist jokes here on the forums. You don't know who you might be upsetting.


----------



## jackdexter75 (Jun 13, 2010)

ZB FTW!!! said:


> miniGOINGS said:
> 
> 
> > Why can't women drive?
> ...



I'm a ton of races, and I don't mind the jokes though. Most of the jokes are about blacks and mexicans. I'm both. along with about 9 other races lol


----------



## Tim Major (Jun 13, 2010)

jackdexter75 said:


> ZB FTW!!! said:
> 
> 
> > miniGOINGS said:
> ...


"I'm black and I'm not offended my black jokes. Must be the say as every other black person, because if I'm not offended, then they won't be."
Sounds like the kind of thing you just said.


----------



## tanjiajien (Jun 13, 2010)

@iamweb: LOL!


----------



## jackdexter75 (Jun 13, 2010)

ZB FTW!!! said:


> jackdexter75 said:
> 
> 
> > ZB FTW!!! said:
> ...



Sorry as if that's how it sounded. I wasn't meaning it that way. That's true some people do probably find them offensive. Personally, I do not find them offensive. But you have a very VERY good point. I agree


----------



## miniGOINGS (Jun 13, 2010)

ZB FTW!!! said:


> Ahg, you didn't tell it right. It doesn't make sense the way you said it. It's,
> 'Why do women drive? There's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom."



Ahh!! I wasn't paying attention when I typed it out. :fp.


----------



## James Ludlow (Jun 13, 2010)

Robert Green.


----------



## megaminxwin (Jun 14, 2010)

iSpinz said:


> megaminxwin said:
> 
> 
> > megaminxwin said:
> ...



It's max for heaps of other things as well, considering it's 2^32 - 1.

I smell a forum bug...


----------



## shelley (Jun 14, 2010)

It's not a bug, it's a feature.


----------



## tanjiajien (Jun 14, 2010)

French military victories. LMFAO.


----------



## mcciff2112 (Jun 14, 2010)

jamesdeanludlow said:


> Robert Green.



HAHAHAHA That's the best one so far


----------



## goatseforever (Jun 14, 2010)

All these Rob Green jokes are getting out of hand. In fact they're crossing the line.


----------



## nck (Jun 14, 2010)

Why did Heisenberg receive a ticket for speeding?


Spoiler



Because he knew exactly where he was


----------



## aronpm (Jun 14, 2010)

Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.


----------



## cubedude7 (Jun 14, 2010)

randomtoad said:


> cubedude7 said:
> 
> 
> > Translating jokes is so hard...
> ...


Thanks, 
Argh, still a little mistake...


----------



## Dene (Jun 14, 2010)

Would a Lion cheat on his wife?



Spoiler



No, but a Tiger would.



This one will forever be a classic.


----------



## Enter (Jun 14, 2010)

how does chuck norris solve a pyraminx?
he goes to Egypt!

Chuck Norris does not scramble the cube but the colors!

Chuck Norris solves the cube optimal in 5 moves always!!!

Chuck Norris solves the cube BLD without pre inspection.

Chuck Norris solution is 10 moves shorter than the god's algorithem!

Chuck Norris has an the Rubik's Clock an additional minutes and a second hand 

what has got Chuck Norris in his pants a rubik's snake  
thanks Adut for the jokes


----------



## mr. giggums (Jun 14, 2010)

Enter said:


> how does *Frank Morris* solve a pyraminx?
> he goes to Egypt!
> 
> *Frank Morris* does not scramble the cube but the colors!
> ...



Fixed.


----------



## riffz (Jun 14, 2010)

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."


----------



## Enter (Jun 14, 2010)

mr. giggums said:


> Enter said:
> 
> 
> > how does *Frank Morris* solve a pyraminx?
> ...


ok I like the fixe 

Frank Morris solves OL sub 10 

When Frank Morris gets a pop many people die 

Frank Morris won all the wca competitions two of them where at the same time one in Japan one in the NL


----------



## EnterPseudonym (Jun 14, 2010)

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they where catholic.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "how much for a pint?"
The bartender replies "For you? no charge."

Two Protons sitting in a near by booth.
The first one asks the second "did you hear that? The neutron gets free pints."
The second asks " Are you sure?"
The first replies "I'm positive"


----------



## ~Phoenix Death~ (Jun 14, 2010)

riffz said:


> A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
> 
> The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
> 
> ...



Epic


----------



## ChrisBird (Jun 14, 2010)

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished
the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin
writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is
finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so
she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is
finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got
to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies: "Since Obama took over, the country has
gone to hell, so it's a local call."


----------



## oprah62 (Jun 14, 2010)

ChrisBird said:


> George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
> While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
> 
> The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
> ...



A very opinionated post , however funny .


----------



## riffz (Jun 14, 2010)

EnterPseudonym said:


> Photons have mass? I didn't even know they where catholic.
> 
> A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "how much for a pint?"
> The bartender replies "For you? no charge."
> ...



Awesome.


----------



## BigGreen (Jun 14, 2010)

The game.


Spoiler


----------



## ChrisBird (Jun 14, 2010)

BigGreen said:


> The game.
> 
> 
> Spoiler



DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I just lost the game.


----------



## Edward (Jun 14, 2010)

Spoiler











[6:26:28 PM] η2σ☆BigGreen: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


----------



## BigGreen (Jun 14, 2010)

Edward said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Feryll (Jun 22, 2010)

Bump. I want to hear some more!

"Only Yu can prevent wildfires"


----------



## iChanZer0 (Jun 22, 2010)

Feryll said:


> "Only Yu can prevent wildfires"



Cheesy but i laughed


----------



## Sa967St (Jun 22, 2010)

Pi and the square root of -1 were having an argument. The square root of -1 said "why can't you be rational?" Pi replied "get real!"


----------



## Ranzha (Jun 22, 2010)

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. 
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable."
The fifth surgeon says "I like engineers. They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."


----------



## Monarch (Jun 22, 2010)

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

A neutrino walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "We do not serve neutrinos here." The neutrino says, “Hey, I was just passing through.”

A Tachyon leaves a bar; the bar tender asks, "What can I get for you?"


----------



## SlapShot (Jun 22, 2010)

ChrisBird said:


> George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
> While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
> 
> The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
> ...



WIN !!!!!!!!!


----------



## Eppley12 (Jun 18, 2011)

*Cubing Jokes*

Everyone knows "yo momma" jokes. How bout yo momma jokes and other jokes that involve cubing. 
For example, "yo momma easier than a 1x1x1!"
or "Yo mommas so fat shes more pillowed than a v-cube 7x7x7!"


P.S. this is supposed to be dumb.


----------



## AustinReed (Jun 18, 2011)

> P.S. this is supposed to be dumb.


Is it?


----------



## uberCuber (Jun 18, 2011)

Eppley12 said:


> P.S. this is supposed to be dumb.


 
Thanks I couldn't tell.

EDIT: Ninja'd wtf o_0


----------



## BigGreen (Jun 18, 2011)




----------



## Gaétan Guimond (Jun 18, 2011)

Cubing Jokes and true 

When the cube was almost dead, I was on the ground to revive




GG


----------



## uberCuber (Jun 18, 2011)

Gaétan nice car in your profile picture


----------



## Kirjava (Jun 18, 2011)

Hey, Guimond.

Nobody cares that you were on TV. We also don't believe that you can do BLD.

You seem to want credit for "reviving the cube". Which you never really did - you ended up on some local TV show that nobody saw until you started posting the videos online. 

These days, you're just a joke.

There was a time when you'd created a nice method. Try focusing on that for a change.


----------



## riffz (Jun 18, 2011)

Random jokes Spef and I came up with on IRC:

What do Saddam Hussein and a youtube cuber have in common?


Spoiler



We can watch their execution on video.



What did the criminal and the FMC competitor have in common?


Spoiler



They both thought the solution was M U R D E R.



Why do bulimics like conjugates?


Spoiler



Their schedules can be written as [eat : look in mirror].



Why was Lars Petrus playing with Lego?


Spoiler



He wanted to practice blockbuilding.



Why does Jesus use Roux?


Spoiler



He hates thinking about the cross.



What do you call a commutator riding a bike?


Spoiler



A cyclist shift.



Why was the 3OP user accused of being homophobic?


Spoiler



He wanted every piece to have the same orientation.



What did the 2x2 say to the 3x3?


Spoiler



Stop being so edgy.



Why was the Dayan 4x4 a hit at the club?


Spoiler



He was good at popping.



Why did the 3x3 turn into a 4x4 after downing an energy drink?


Spoiler



Red Bull gives you wings!


----------



## aminayuko (Jun 18, 2011)

yo mama so fat an mf8 teraminx laughed at her obesity.

(i am not trying to offend anybody. It is just part of the thread.)


----------



## blackzabbathfan (Jun 18, 2011)

whats a cubers favorite insult.

FUMF


----------



## bwronski (Jun 18, 2011)

riffz all of those are GREAT


----------



## CRO (Jun 18, 2011)

What is an edge piece doing with a compass and a map?

Trying to orient himself.


----------



## Deluchie (Jun 18, 2011)

> Why did the 3x3 turn into a 4x4 after downing an energy drink?
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...



This made me laugh really hard! Keep up the jokes


----------



## Ranzha (Jun 19, 2011)

Finishing with CFOP after starting with ZZ is definitely crossing the line.


----------



## cookieyo145 (Jun 19, 2011)

Your mom is as pathetic as a rubiks storebought with wd-40.


----------



## Jaysammey777 (Jun 19, 2011)

Ranzha V. Emodrach said:


> Finishing with CFOP after starting with ZZ is definitely crossing the line.


 
How did you come up with this one?


----------



## Ranzha (Jun 19, 2011)

Jaysammey777 said:


> How did you come up with this one?


 
I thought of a commonly used saying and built a cubing joke out of it.


----------



## Hershey (Jun 19, 2011)

Ranzha V. Emodrach said:


> Finishing with CFOP after starting with ZZ is definitely crossing the line.


 
I see what you did there!


----------



## AustinReed (Jun 19, 2011)

What did the pizza say to Gaetan Guimond?


Spoiler



I'm man of slice


----------



## Sa967St (Jun 19, 2011)

BigGreen said:


> *Derrick's lame cubing jokes video*


Don't forget part 2!


----------



## AustinReed (Jun 19, 2011)

As soon as he said "Sheen", I knew the joke.


----------



## jtjogobonito (Jun 19, 2011)

What's a cuber's least favorite drink?


Spoiler



Pop


Why was a key lodged in the F2L?


Spoiler



It was done with Keyhole


What would a giant robot teddy bear be if he were a speedcuber?


Spoiler



Fazzy Wuzzy


Why did the cube visit the doctor after it popped?


Spoiler



To get a CubeCast


What do a cuber, a comedian, and a porn star have in common?


Spoiler



Hardwick


What do Noah and Anthony Brooks have in common?


Spoiler



Many 2x2s


What's (2*12)+(4*6)+8


Spoiler



The number of pieces that pop from a Dayan



I'll be adding more as I think of them.


----------



## Spaxxy (May 26, 2013)

*Cubing jokes*

I would like to know if you guys have any good ones!

Example:
Q: How many cubers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to scramble, one to ref, and one to solve.


----------



## KongShou (May 26, 2013)

riffz said:


> Random jokes Spef and I came up with on IRC:
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...



Lol these r actually really good


----------



## speedcuber50 (May 28, 2013)

What does "F2L" stand for?



Spoiler



Forgot to lube-the thing you worry about on the way to the competition!



What do you use the following algorithims for in everyday activities?

RU


Spoiler



To ask someone something about themselves.


UR


Spoiler



To tell someone something about themselves.


----------



## moralsh (Jun 10, 2013)

Optimal solution to f2l


Spoiler



l'f2


----------



## sneaklyfox (Jun 11, 2013)

moralsh said:


> Optimal solution to f2l
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...



lol... clever...


----------



## Ickathu (Jun 11, 2013)

moralsh said:


> Optimal solution to f2l
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...



I figured out what "zero-ing" is. This must be what Feliks does


----------



## Spaxxy (Jul 16, 2013)

Chuck Norris can do Roux on a 2x2


----------



## ~Adam~ (Jul 16, 2013)

Chuck Norris knows CLL?


----------



## ben1996123 (Jul 16, 2013)

cube-o-holic said:


> Chuck Norris knows CLL?



chuck norris uses cll
i use cll
therefore i am chuck norris


----------



## ~Adam~ (Jul 16, 2013)

Sound reasoning. Hurry up and learn EG1 & EG2 so Ben>Chuck Norris.


----------



## Noahaha (Jul 17, 2013)

2x2


----------



## kunparekh18 (Jul 17, 2013)

Noahaha said:


> 2x2



Magic


----------



## YddEd (Jul 17, 2013)

ben1996123 said:


> chuck norris uses cll
> i use cll
> therefore i am chuck norris


Bruce Lee uses F2L on the 2x2.





speedcuber50 said:


> What does "F2L" stand for?
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Spoiler: RU



R U MAD?





Spoiler: UR



U R MAD!


----------



## Spaxxy (Jul 17, 2013)

You know what's a joke? My official times in my last competition.


----------



## ~Adam~ (Jul 17, 2013)

Pogobat


----------



## TheNextFeliks (Jul 17, 2013)

Spaxxy said:


> You know what's a joke? My official times in my last competition.



I don't get it. 



kunparekh18 said:


> Magic





Noahaha said:


> 2x2



These. 



cube-o-holic said:


> Pogobat



Lolololololololololo


----------



## Spaxxy (Jul 17, 2013)

TheNextFeliks said:


> I don't get it.



My 3x3 average is almost down to what my best solve was in that competition, because I failed almost every solve, and had a sup-25 average.


----------



## idreamincubes (Jul 17, 2013)

How does cubers eat pizza?



Spoiler



Corners first.


----------



## ~Adam~ (Jul 17, 2013)

When does a cuber tell their parents they will stop cubing and do their homework?


Spoiler



Sune



How does Santa get into a cuber's house with no chimney?


Spoiler



FRURUF



What does a cuber get his girlfriend for their anniversary?


Spoiler



A Niklas



Sorry =(


----------



## mrdoodlecakes (Jan 28, 2014)

*Cube Joke*

So a Rubiks Cube walks into a bar and the bartender says...

Why the wrong face?


----------



## RageCuber (Jan 28, 2014)

and the cube says "because someone posted a bad pun about me" (Just Jk)


----------



## ~Adam~ (Jan 28, 2014)

*Cubing Jokes*

A cube walks into his local bar wearing a NY baseball cap. The barman says, 'New hat? I peel the stickers off'.


----------



## kcl (Jan 28, 2014)

cube-o-holic said:


> A cube walks into his local bar wearing a NY baseball cap. The barman says, 'New hat? I peel the stickers off'.



That took me a couple seconds XD


----------



## sneaklyfox (Jan 28, 2014)

cube-o-holic said:


> A cube walks into his local bar wearing a NY baseball cap. The barman says, 'New hat? I peel the stickers off'.



lol


----------



## TDM (Jan 28, 2014)

cube-o-holic said:


> A cube walks into his local bar wearing a NY baseball cap. The barman says, 'New hat? I peel the stickers off'.


idgi


----------



## ~Adam~ (Jan 29, 2014)

TDM said:


> idgi



NY baseball caps come with a gold sticker on the peak. It appears to be fashionable to leave it on to let everyone know that you have never washed your cap so it probably stinks.


----------



## sneaklyfox (Jan 29, 2014)

cube-o-holic said:


> NY baseball caps come with a gold sticker on the peak. It appears to be fashionable to leave it on to let everyone know that you have never washed your cap so it probably stinks.



Ok, I totally thought the joke was something else!


----------



## ~Adam~ (Jan 29, 2014)

Literally nobody gets some of my joke IRL. They tend to have levels people don't look for. At least I know why they could be funny =D


----------



## sneaklyfox (Jan 30, 2014)

cube-o-holic said:


> Literally nobody gets some of my joke IRL. They tend to have levels people don't look for. At least I know why they could be funny =D



But I like your jokes. I'm no good at making jokes. Sometimes I try and fail miserably. I just like to enjoy them.


----------



## Jihu Mun (Feb 17, 2014)

Chuck Norris knows God's algorithm. The only reason he doesn't use it is because he likes the challenge of using normal methods.

It took two months for Erno Rubik to solve the cube for the first time. That's how long it took for Chuck Norris to come over and teach him.

Most people use a multi-step method for 3x3x3. Chuck Norris uses just one step: F3L.


----------



## TDM (Feb 18, 2014)

Jihu Mun said:


> Chuck Norris knows God's algorithm. The only reason he doesn't use it is because he likes the challenge of using normal methods.
> 
> It took two months for Erno Rubik to solve the cube for the first time. That's how long it took for Chuck Norris to come over and teach him.
> 
> Most people use a multi-step method for 3x3x3. Chuck Norris uses just one step: F3L.


I've never seen any of these jokes before...


----------



## Note (Apr 17, 2014)

I walked into a store and asked for a 3DS to play Animal Crossing on.

The clerk gave me 3 DianShengs. .__.


----------



## Destro (May 12, 2014)

Whats a cubers fave hobby next to cubing?
SKEWBa diving
(Might not be funny but i tried)


----------



## CyanSandwich (May 19, 2014)

I just thought of a whole lot of terrible cubing jokes so I'll post some of them here.

What do Australian cubers undertake at university?
Tim Major

Why did Eric get mad when someone took his fruit?
Because he wanted his Limeback

Who's the best at cubing on a canoe?
Rowe

Who's the coolest cuber around?
Oliver Frost

What's a polar bear's favourite sub-step?
Winter variation

Why are birds so good at bigBLD?
They know all about wings

Why wouldn't you wait in line for a Moyu product?
Because it'll take Weilong

Why was the F2L user so good at gambling?
Because he spent a lot of time on slots

Which "That 70s Show" character has something in common with Noah Arthurs?
Red F.

Why couldn't the kid solve the rubik's cube?
Because whenever he tried he just got cross


----------



## 10461394944000 (May 23, 2014)

CyanSandwich said:


> Who's the coolest cuber around?
> Oliver Frost



thats true anyway


----------



## ajayd (May 23, 2014)

*Jokes Thread*

Seeing as how the other joke threads have been dead for a few years, and I just saw the Cubing Jokes Thread show up, I think it's fair we get a full jokes thread. This thread is open to any and all jokes, including but not limited to: mean jokes, intellectual jokes, blonde jokes, other cubing jokes, etc.

I'll start…
(I get soo many jokes from Reddit)

What do you get when you combine a bad joke with a rhetorical question?


----------



## WinterCub3r (May 24, 2014)

that was a 'sexy move' you did there. or your pretty RUR'U' today. idk what im doing


----------



## JediJupiter (Jun 1, 2014)

It's hard to tell a good chemistry joke these days. All the good ones argon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.


----------



## 3LEVAS3 (Jun 21, 2014)

idreamincubes said:


> How does cubers eat pizza?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Wouldn't it be in slices? Preferably the middle ones first.



CyanSandwich said:


> Why wouldn't you wait in line for a Moyu product?
> Because it'll take Weilong.
> 
> Why couldn't the kid solve the rubik's cube?
> Because whenever he tried he just got cross



My MoYu cube took Weilong to arrive and it took me an 'aolong' to be able to open it. That was quite terrible, sorry. 

Well... At least he didn't Roux the day he tried to solve it...

L



cube-o-holic said:


> When does a cuber tell their parents they will stop cubing and do their homework?
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...



I tell that to my parents all the time... And I laugh. And they question my sanity. Each time  so like 6 times a week.

Whenever someone says "have a nice day!" I say "U2."


But how to cubers paint a wall? Corners first. 

What's a cubers least favourite type of music? Pop


----------



## Destro (Aug 10, 2014)

This really happened but..... (I changed some words into alg) My friend said that" im M2 U" i replied (so that the class will say aiyee!!!) "im M2 U2"


----------



## CubeBird (Aug 24, 2014)

What did Feliks do after he broke a world record?
He picked a new record to break.

MoYu Aofu: I'm the best 7x7 in stores.
ShengShou: 7x7: I'm the best 7x7 with a normal shape.
V-Cube 7: Without me you two are nothing.
Erno Rubik: That's cute.


----------



## Me (Aug 31, 2014)

What kind of cheese do speedcubers prefer?


Spoiler



ZhanCheese.



What's Bono's (lead singer of the Irish rock band U2) favorite move on the Rubik's cube?


Spoiler



U U, Bono only knows quarter turn metric.


----------



## rebucato314 (Sep 6, 2014)

(Waiting for somebody to come)
(The person comes)
OMG you took Weilong-er than I expected!


----------



## ClovisKoo (Sep 6, 2014)

I make cringeworthy jokes but oh well

Who was the first hero a speedcuber selected when he started playing DoTA 2?
Rubick.


----------



## ryanj92 (Sep 19, 2014)

Why did the cuber do a y2?
To get to the other side...



Spoiler



maybe it just works as 'why did the cuber cross the road?', I'm no good at jokes


----------



## QPowerPrime (Nov 4, 2014)

Yo mama's so DUMB, when Lars Petrus told her the solution was block building, she looked for a job at the brick factory.


----------



## Randomno (Nov 4, 2014)

QPowerPrime said:


> Yo mama's so DUMB, when Lars Petrus told her the solution was block building, she looked for a job at the brick factory.



Heh, good one.


----------



## JustinTimeCuber (Jan 2, 2015)

*Cubing joke/prank thread*

Post funny cube jokes/pranks here.

I know one you can do on a really fast cuber:

Hey, you're so good at F2L? I saw you do that solve.

Yeah.

Well I can do F2L backwards in less than a second.

Yeah sure.

*Do L' F2 as fast as you can*


----------



## IWillCube (Jan 7, 2015)

The man tried to invent a method based on roux... He didn't succeed in fact it ROUXined his day.

Yeah... I'll get my coat.


----------



## penguinz7 (Jan 24, 2015)

Cubing: the only hobby where the execution is fun to watch.


----------



## Ordway Persyn (Jan 27, 2015)

What is the most dishonest cube?

the Liying.

Whats a cuber's favorite night time show?

the Shengshow.

What sound does a cuber make while he/she sleeps?

ZZ.

Why do cubers hate baseball?

Because there's a lot of catching.

What Does a cuber say when he falls down?

Ao, Shi

How long does it take to resticker a 9x9?

Sulong

Whats the lamest cubing superhero? 

Super Square-1

A Weilong walks into a bar, depressed his owner uses the Aolong as his main, and the bartender says:

Why the _Long_ face?

Edit:
What do you call a cuber with gas?

Konsta-pated


----------



## ryanj92 (Apr 24, 2015)

Wow, it seems like nobody is using the zhanchi anymore. You could say it's dayan out...


----------



## Seanliu (Apr 25, 2015)

Ordway Persyn said:


> What is the most dishonest cube?
> 
> the Liying.
> 
> ...



Lol, I had an AoLong, but I now use a WeiLong xD


----------



## ryanj92 (Jun 9, 2015)

They say if you get three OLL skips with J perm PLL's in a row, Martin Telesforo appears...


----------



## willtri4 (Aug 13, 2015)

If a potato was grown in the Soviet Union, is it considered a commutator?


----------



## shadowslice e (Aug 14, 2015)

What noise does a cubing dog make?


Spoiler



AUF AUF


----------



## Berd (Aug 14, 2015)

shadowslice e said:


> What noise does a cubing dog make?
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...


Hahaha! I died... [emoji23]


----------



## Ordway Persyn (Aug 17, 2015)

What month was the Meiying released? May 

What is the Devil's favorite cube? 6x6x6 cube

What sound does a cuber make when he Sneezes? Huachuang 

Which is the most cheerful Megaminx? The YJ YUHU!


----------

