# THE LUBIX JAWDROP



## Owen (May 24, 2011)

This new state of the art speedcube the *LUBIX JAWDROP*, has a long history in development. First started by Josiah Wendell in 1645, this cube has in all, over 40 years of combined labor put into it. 
Made from a Dayan LunHui, the *LUBIX JAWDROP* was knighted in 1987 for it's benefits to civilization. It has these extraordinary features.

*Modified using the 640 point edge mod, the V-cube 5 mod, and 200 other performance enhancing mods.
*Unpoppable due to quantum mechanics.
*Optimized cubes.
*Stickers are scratch 'n' sniff, and double as a hallucinogenic when licked.
*Lubed with a WHOLE jar of grape jelly, plus a bucket of pond water
*Core is made of pure gold.
*Tensioned to the absolute best tensions possible. That's right, the best.
*Justin Bieber approved.
*Kissed by all four members of the Beatles.
*Cannot be heard.
*Can easily do U9001.
*Doubles as a Square-1, just turn it inside-out!
*Made of plastic that is the is the best type of the plastic available in this day and age.
*Safe for children.
*Cuts corners quite well.


The bidding for the *LUBIX JAWDROP* starts at the low cost of $800,000. bid before it's too late!


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## ianography (May 24, 2011)

This literally made me laugh on the floor, in stitches. Well done.


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## liljthedude (May 24, 2011)

Whaaaaat?


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## JLarsen (May 24, 2011)

Owen said:


> *Stickers are scratch 'n' sniff, and double as a hallucinogenic when licked.


 I loled @ this line. Some of the other humor might be a little blunt/obvious for my taste.


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## caseyd (May 24, 2011)

oooooh im bidding


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## Drake (May 24, 2011)

I want 1!!! Lol fail?


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## danthecuber (May 24, 2011)

lol


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## Tall5001 (May 24, 2011)

OMG i need this SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad totally bidding!


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## waffle=ijm (May 24, 2011)

I could use some hallucinogenic stickers....


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## Drake (May 24, 2011)

Hmm if it would not be approved by Justin Bieber the value would be 2x, i would say.


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## Cool Frog (May 24, 2011)

Laughing hurt me, have to take Tylenol (Like 100% serious =/)
Wishes I was a millionare.


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## AustinReed (May 24, 2011)

> *Doubles as a Square-1, just turn it inside-out!



Jealous.


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## ZamHalen (May 24, 2011)

Owen said:


> *Kissed by all four members of the Beatles.


 
That there is the major reason for its greatness.


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## qqwref (May 24, 2011)

$800,000? Are you kidding? I'd pay $150,000 for that cube, at most. 40 years really sounds like a lot, you must suck at modding... I bet I could do all that in only 28 years. Plus, your cube isn't even perfect, because I'd want these features too:
- Core is made of diamond (the hardest metal).
- Does a sune with a single flick of the U face.
- Based on the V-Cube design, but not in a way that breaks patent law.
- Unpoppable, except when you want to pop it.
- Turns into a 5x5x5 when you're drunk.
- 90 degree corner cutting.
- Layers click in place to prevent misalignment, but not in a way that slows down solving.
- Stickers should be extra bright, so they are glowing with their respective colors even in the daytime.

You can't call yourself a decent modder when you are peddling a cube this overpriced and under-modded...


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## bluecloe45 (May 24, 2011)

Ill buy for over 1 dollar


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## ben1996123 (May 24, 2011)

cocaine


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## cookieyo145 (May 24, 2011)

Do you accept monopoly credit cards? I bid 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999$ in monopoly.


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## RTh (May 24, 2011)

But, does it turn good?


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## Ltsurge (May 24, 2011)

lol'd so hard my maths teacher thought surds were deadly funny too!!


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## spdcbr (May 24, 2011)

Is it up on eBay?


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## Ranzha (May 25, 2011)

Whoawhoawhoa. Pics or it didn't happen.


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## cookieyo145 (May 25, 2011)

It would be funny if someone sold their house their wife, their children, EVERYTHING and it comes as a DIY.


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## Julian (May 25, 2011)

Owen said:


> *Modified using the 640 point edge mod
> *Unpoppable due to quantum mechanics.
> *Stickers are scratch 'n' sniff, and double as a hallucinogenic when licked.
> *Lubed with a WHOLE jar of grape jelly, plus a bucket of pond water
> ...


 


qqwref said:


> - Does a sune with a single flick of the U face.
> - Based on the V-Cube design, but not in a way that breaks patent law.
> - Unpoppable, except when you want to pop it.
> - 90 degree corner cutting.
> - Layers click in place to prevent misalignment, but not in a way that slows down solving.


Loved these lines


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## Rook (May 25, 2011)

Tutorial pl0x

I think that getting this cube will finally allow me to consistently sub-20. After all, practicing just takes too long. Now I just need to spend the rest of my life making money to buy this cube.


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## Jungleterrain (May 25, 2011)

It was made before V-cube, yet it has to deal with patent laws! Awesome.


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## DeathCuberK (May 25, 2011)

Oh man, this looks perfect for my new amazing method called F3L. I'll be back in a couple of years when I finish developing this method.


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## asportking (May 25, 2011)

You can just look at this cube and it solves itself.


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## TiLiMayor (May 25, 2011)

Doubles as square-1 lololol


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## ~Phoenix Death~ (May 25, 2011)

Cannot be heard.

Wow. Looks like cubing competitions will quiet down now.


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## uberCuber (May 25, 2011)

qqwref said:


> 40 years really sounds like a lot, you must suck at modding... I bet I could do all that in only 28 years.


 
It's obviously because of all the grape jelly he had to work in. I seriously doubt your outlandish 28 year claim. Prove it.


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## cmhardw (May 25, 2011)

It's lubed with an entire jar of grape jelly! It's gonna be _awesome_!  Awesome post, made my day!


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## AJ Blair (May 25, 2011)

What brand of grape jelly? With a name like Smuckers, it has to turn good...


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## Cool Frog (May 25, 2011)

DeathCuberK said:


> Oh man, this looks perfect for my new amazing method called F3L. I'll be back in a couple of years when I finish developing this method.


 


AJ Blair said:


> What brand of grape jelly? With a name like Smuckers, it has to turn good...


 
AAAHHH! 
Awesomesauce


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## 24653483361 (May 25, 2011)

Smells good too


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## gundamslicer (May 25, 2011)

Lolololol ROFLROFLROFL


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## Specs112 (May 25, 2011)

*head explodes from OP's awesomeness*

Well played, sir.


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## qqwref (May 25, 2011)

uberCuber said:


> It's obviously because of all the grape jelly he had to work in. I seriously doubt your outlandish 28 year claim. Prove it.


Just wait for my all-new LUBIX DEMIGOD. It's about half done, so it should be on auction by 2025 at the very latest.


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## JyH (May 25, 2011)

cyberbullies


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## shelley (May 25, 2011)

Psh, grape jelly. Everyone who's anyone knows it's all about the Lemon Pledge.


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## theace (May 25, 2011)

I'll buy if it can scramble itself when you point at it and say "hugaala wanger!"


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## Georgeanderre (May 25, 2011)

Incredibly well thought out =P


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## Linalai66 (May 25, 2011)

lol


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## Bapao (May 25, 2011)

Can the stickers be purchased separately? If so, can I buy in bulk?

*Owen* is like that guy from CSI; he says something, puts his sunglasses on and then leaves with guitars playing in the background...


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## izovire (May 26, 2011)

I don't trust this cube. 

No where does it mention that it's capable of a sub-5 avg. Not even sub-Faz.


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## MovingOnUp (May 26, 2011)

I'll take two!


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## HelpCube (May 26, 2011)

I'll bid $9,001 USD just so its over 9000


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## CubicNL (May 26, 2011)

Owen said:


> *Cuts corners quite well.


 Rofl, the best part 
So funny!


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## n00bcub3r (Jul 19, 2011)

i will pay 1 million dollars!!!!!!!! in ecuador sucre


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## jskyler91 (Jul 19, 2011)

HelpCube said:


> I'll bid $9,001 USD just so its over 9000


 
I got it lol


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## cubersmith (Sep 3, 2011)

haha! all of these things then the last one:

"Corner cuts quite well"

Made me lol :')


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## RCTACameron (Sep 3, 2011)

Wouldn't it make more sense if it was called 'The Grape Jelly Jawdrop'?


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## chrissyD (Sep 3, 2011)

Owen said:


> *Justin Bieber approved.



Worst cube ever


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## aminayuko (Sep 3, 2011)

i think Waffo would like his with orangina lube


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## tacgnol (Sep 3, 2011)

You CANNOT be serious qq. It took you 28 years to do THAT? Please.
I assembled mine with the instruction of SUMARIAN GODS. It has:
-A core made of zomgium (i dunno what else to call it. i found it in a meteorite and cut a diamond with it)
-It is not made of plastic. plastic is too rough. It's made of PURE TEFLON. And lubed with a square ton OF TEFLON
If you even touch it, it will not stop turning for 10000000 YEARS. 
-135 degree cuts. AND, 90 degree reverse cuts.
-And the stickers...don't even get me started on the stickers. 
-Oh, and when you turn it inside out....it turns into Megan Fox. 

Basically, It's so epic i got Billy Mays to advertise it from the grave.


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## jms_gears1 (Sep 3, 2011)

qq, you may have a decent preforming cube, but does you cube have a built in mini-Stefan to insult you every-time you solve it?


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