# An Open Letter to the Man with Large Bowels



## ShadenSmith (Jan 29, 2010)

Dear good sir,

First off, I would like you to know that I am very impressed with your work. I certainly could not achieve what you have managed to do on several occasions now. I understand what you're going through. If my bowels were as large (or full) as yours, I too would want to tell the world. 

However, despite your impressive feats I must ask that you stop pooping and peeing on every toilet seat on this floor of the building and covering them with toilet paper. I truly cannot comprehend how you manage to achieve this in what seems to be only a few moments. I don't believe that my bowel movements could cover near the surface area that your's do. I am beginning to suspect that there is a team at work here, but I do fear this concept. I would like to think that most of my floormates would not condone this activity. But I digress. 

Please stop doing this. I too enjoy pooping every once in a while and find it unacceptable that I must walk downstairs to poop now. You have made your point, we all know that you can poop far more than feeble beings such as I. Despite your impressive bowels, I am positive that I would not be the first (or last) person on this floor to give you a swift kick in the nuts for doing this again.

Sincerely,
Man who also likes to poop every once in a while


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## ShadenSmith (Jan 29, 2010)

I am taping this letter to the bathroom doors of my hall.


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## PHPJaguar (Jan 29, 2010)

And how are we supposed to respond to this?


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## ianini (Jan 29, 2010)

no comment.


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## maggot (Jan 29, 2010)

i would poop more and have people snitch you out and poop on your door LOL j/k


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## Caedus (Jan 29, 2010)

This thread deserves two things: :fp and :confused:


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## ShadenSmith (Jan 29, 2010)

maggot said:


> i would poop more and have people snitch you out and poop on your door LOL j/k



Woah woah woah, this was not addressed to me. I wrote this.


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## maggot (Jan 29, 2010)

if i was bad guy with large bowel, when i read letter in hallway, i would ask people "who wrote this?" and when they say this guy "ShadenSmith at 402." i would then goto 402 and poop on your door, then goto bathroom and poop on all the toilet flusher!!!


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## Zane_C (Jan 29, 2010)

ShadenSmith said:


> I am taping this letter to the bathroom doors of my hall.


??? What can I say ??? WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Ranzha (Jan 29, 2010)

Lolthread.

EDIT: Ninja'd.


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## Thomas09 (Jan 29, 2010)

That guys an ass. Well no, he knows how to use it.


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## Jokerman5656 (Jan 29, 2010)

This is a very funny thing lol. Thanks for sharing this


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## Zane_C (Jan 29, 2010)

So do you think this guy is a cuber on this forum?


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## anythingtwisty (Jan 29, 2010)

very nicely written, Shaden, I like it.


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## Escher (Jan 29, 2010)

ShadenSmith said:


> Woah woah woah, this was not addressed to me. I wrote this.



Haha, you might've written it out here but I have definitely read this or something very similar before


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## ShadenSmith (Jan 29, 2010)

Escher said:


> ShadenSmith said:
> 
> 
> > Woah woah woah, this was not addressed to me. I wrote this.
> ...



Any similarities between this and something you've read before are purely coincidental. I wrote every word of this last night when the Bathroom Bandit struck again.


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## daniel0731ex (Jan 30, 2010)

pictures?


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## Deleted member 2864 (Jan 30, 2010)

nice story. I think I learned the meaning of life from this.


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## TheMachanga (Jan 30, 2010)

:confused:


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## (R) (Jan 30, 2010)

daniel0731ex said:


> pictures?



That's just foul...
i don't want to see that...
U crazy Daniel?


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## elimescube (Jan 30, 2010)

Someone at my work keeps leaving stools in the stalls... I'm making a sign that reads "WHAT THE DEUCE!?! (please flush, for all our sakes)" for each stall.


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## daniel0731ex (Oct 20, 2011)

Reading this again after almost 2 years, I realizes that this is not about one person vandalizing the washroom, but rather telling people to use the washroom respectfully. There is never a "man with large bowels", it is "everyone".


How this escaped me 2 years ago, I don't know. But it looks like most people who replied here didn't get it either.


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